


kindred spirits

by lovecamedown



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Rey's POV, Runaways AU, This is super trope-y, rating for later chapters!, they're both so lonely, until they find each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:30:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8231455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovecamedown/pseuds/lovecamedown
Summary: "I'm halfway through your story;can't help thinking that you're just like me."
Rey's been alone her whole life. Always on the run. Always running away from something. (Or maybe she's running towards something, but she just doesn't quite know what).Finn decides to leave a bad situation, and he runs too. He runs and runs and runs until one day, he meets a girl in a diner who's suddenly offering him free coffee and looking at him like she understands; and they discover that, somehow, their stories are almost exactly the same. 
Maybe they don't have to be alone anymore. 
-
Or the Finnrey Runaways AU I've been wanting to write for ages. And then I got inspired.





	1. can't help thinking that you're just like me

**Author's Note:**

> HI! Happy Finnrey Friday! I've been wanting to write this fic for ages and I'm finally doing it. I hope you enjoy! <3

Rey has never trusted anyone.

Not _anyone_.

She’s been here, there and everywhere; always on the run, always looking for somewhere or something to make her feel like she finally has a home.

After running away from the foster system when she was seventeen, she hid away for a long while; living on the streets or in youth hostels—doing all she could to make sure they didn’t find her. And then, two months later, she turned eighteen. And they stopped looking; because she no longer mattered to them. Not legally. Not at all.

That’s all she’s ever been to anyone. Just another kid. Another lost child without a family; without a home. Every family they placed her with just saw her as a kid who was passing through. Just someone who would take up their spare room until the hassle got too much.

And the foster system liked to pretend that they cared for her, but they didn’t.

Because if they did, they would have cared when she disappeared; they would’ve kept looking. They didn’t.

But that’s okay, because Rey doesn’t need anyone. She doesn’t need _anyone_.

Of course, there’s a part of Rey that will always just feel lonely; but she learned a long time ago that it doesn’t help her to trust people. It just makes things worse.

So she stays by herself; moving from place to place, getting jobs at diners and coffee shops here and there to pay the bills. Since leaving the foster system two years ago, Rey hasn’t stayed in one town more than two months. And the only reason she stayed in the last one that long was because the woman who ran the youth hostel made the _best_ lasagne.

Sometimes, people ask her why she never stays in one place too long. Every time, Rey tells them to mind their own business.

But the truth is – the reason she just never settles in one place – is because she’s waiting to find that _place_. The place she’s always dreamed of; a place that will finally make her feel at home. A place to make her feel like she should stay, and like she wants to stay.

Like there’s something to stay _for_.

It’s been two years, and Rey is yet to find that place. She knows she’s not going to find her family (although she always dreamed of doing so, she lost hope around a year ago). But she hopes that one day, she will find her home, and maybe it’ll be somewhere she feels she can stay.

But for now, Rey’s working in a diner just a little walk away from the youth hostel she’s currently staying in. It’s mostly night shifts; the diner is on the side of the highway so it’s open 24/7, and the night shifts pay better, so she doesn’t mind.

Tonight, Rey starts work at midnight, and the diner is always really quiet at this time of night. It’s just her and another colleague working. There’s a man in the corner looking very tired, sipping a cup of black coffee and picking at a pastry as he looks out the window over the road.

After a couple hours, a little while before her shift ends, the door opens, the bell above it ringing out above the radio that’s playing low through the speakers. Rey’s cleaning the main counter when she looks up to see a man walking in. He’s wearing a baseball cap that features a logo Rey recognises as the First Order Corporation from a few towns over. There’s sweat beading on his forehead, and he’s panting, like he’s just been running, or like something has just scared him.

Rey frowns, watching as he comes closer. His eyes aren’t really focusing anywhere; they’re darting around the room, almost looking for something to look at that won’t freak him out even more.

When he gets closer and sits on one of the barstools at the counter, Rey sees his eyes. His dark brown eyes; they have a look in them that Rey is all too familiar with. A look that’s a mixture of fear, despair, confusion and, most of all, being completely lost. She takes in the way he’s got little tears in his T-shirt around the shoulders, and now that she’s seeing him up close, there are traces of dirt on the skin of his face.

“I’ll have a coffee,” the man says, breathless, his voice the tiniest bit shaky. “Please.”

“Sure thing. That’ll be £2.” Rey casts him a concerned glance before turning to grab a cup and one of the coffee jugs. As she turns and starts filling the mug on the counter between them, the man is looking through his wallet, seeming almost frantic as he searches in every nook and cranny. Eventually he tips it out and counts the small amount of change that clatters against the counter, mainly consisting of ten pence coins, and he looks up sheepishly at Rey.

“I’m…sorry, I’ve only got a pound fifty. I might have more on my card, but I'm not sure if it's empty…,”

Rey looks him over again. Meets his eyes for just a second and sees the fear in them. She also sees a gentleness; and a real worried look behind them that looks like he’s afraid she’s going to kick him back out on the street. “That’s alright,” she finds herself saying, “it’s on the house. You look like you could use it.”

“A—Are you sure? I understand if not, I—”

“Seriously, it’s fine.”

He sighs in relief, looking away for a brief moment before meeting her eyes again, and it maybe looks like he’s about to cry. “Thank you so much,” he picks up the coffee and clutches it in his hands, lifting it up to his lips to take a sip. “Seriously, thank you.”

“No problem.” Rey offers him a polite smile before resuming wiping the worktop. She looks at him from the corner of her eye, watching as he drinks the entire cup in a few large gulps and taking in the look in his eyes that just hits a bit too close to home for Rey.

This is what she must have looked like when she first ran away. Scared, lost, distraught. Tired, and like she wouldn’t really care too much if she just disappeared and never came back. She must have looked like that because, well, that’s how she felt.

And thats what this man looks like now. Her stomach tugs a little, feeling pulled towards him in a strange way; what must be a pull to help him.

“Here,” she says eventually, reaching out to pour him another cup of coffee.

He looks up at her, complete and utter surprise written all over his face. “Really? Another one?”

“Yeah. It’s no trouble.”

“But—won’t it come out of your wage, or something?”

“Nah. Believe me, we go through so much coffee in this place that we don’t have time to account for every single cup of coffee we brew.”

The corners of his lips twitch in to a tiny smile, and his eyes soften. (Rey realises that smiling is a good look on him). “Thank you. Really.”

Rey hesitates. She leans on the work top with her forearms and watches as he lifts his cup back up again. _Now or never_. “Are…you a runaway?”

His cup stops mid-way to his lips and he meets her eyes, his brow coming together, looking extremely confused. “I…,” he stammers, “I—how—did you know?”

Rey pauses for a moment, taking a short breath in and thinking over her words before she speaks. “Because…I was, too. I’d…know that look anywhere.”

The man’s eyes fill with something then; something that looks soft – soft _er_ , anyway – and surprised. “You…you were?”

“Yeah. Two years ago. So…I know how you feel right now.”

“Oh, um—wow,”

“It’s okay,” Rey offers him a small smile. “I’m used to people not knowing what to say when they found out I ran away. You don’t have to say anything.”

“Oh, sorry, I just…I’ve never met anyone who’s run away. I…,” he hesitates, not quite meeting her eye for a moment, “if you don’t mind me asking…what’s it like?”

Rey shrugs, leaning towards him on the counter again. “At first…cold. Scary. But you find your feet soon enough. You learn who to trust. Who _not_ to trust. Which is pretty much everyone.…” Rey’s words fade away and she looks down for a moment; then hastily clears her throat, squaring her shoulders once more, composing herself. “But mostly it just taught me a lot about who I am. I don’t regret it. It’s what I needed to do. To get out of that place.”

For a moment he looks like he’s about to ask her a question; his mouth falls open just a little and he inhales a little breath. But then he closes his mouth again and looks down, as if thinking better of his words.

“I…don’t really know where to go right now.” He admits quietly.

“I know how that feels. But hey, there are a few youth hostels around here that will let you stay for free for a couple nights. You have to pay after a couple, but for now it might be enough? There’s Kingston, about eight miles North, and then there’s Carter just a while beyond that. The closest one is, um…just a mile or so down the road from here. But I’m—not sure how much space they have, so…,”

Rey knows it’s not exactly fair to try and convince him _not_ to go to the closest and most convenient place, but she hasn’t told him that she’s _still_ someone who moves from place to place, _still_ someone who seems to be a runaway (although shes not running away anymore; she's running towards wherever might be her home). And that’s not really something she likes to tell people. The only person here who knows she doesn’t have an actual apartment is her manager, and that’s only because she _has_ to know. Even Rey’s colleagues think she has an apartment in the suburbs.

It’s not good to lie. But it’s better to lie than to trust someone and end up getting hurt.

Or, at least, that’s Rey’s usual motto.

“I…might go to one of those places. It depends.”

“On what?” Rey asks without thinking. “Oh, sorry, you don’t have to answer that. I understand if you want to keep things private.”

He looks at her for a moment, hesitating slightly, but then shrugs one shoulder. “I’m…running away from a really bad situation. And…they’re a few towns over, but I thought that a car was following me when I was walking by the road; that’s why I came in here. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, I don’t know,” he chuckles, but it’s humourless, “…or maybe I’m just crazy.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”

“That’s what they always told me.”

“You can’t listen to people. People are dicks.”

The man actually chuckles in to his mug, and his smile is bigger than the last one she saw. His eyes crinkle around the corners as he takes another sip, and he cocks his head to one side briefly, like a half shake of his head. “That’s very true.”

Rey giggles, too, and she swears he smiles wider.

They talk for a while longer, and Rey finds out that he’s running away from the First Order Corporation. He decided to leave after his friend died because of what they did, and it was the final straw in him realising that this wasn’t who he wanted to be. She doesn't know exactly what's up with First Order, but given the look on his face, she can assume it's not good.

She can see in his eyes that he’s genuine. Usually, Rey never trusts a person just by what they say about themselves or how they look; after all, some of the world’s best swindlers are in disguise as a good guy.

But this man…his eyes are kind. They’re soft and deep and _terrified_ , but beautiful all the same. She can tell that he has pure intentions. There’s a part of her that tells her she’s just being naïve and blind to the fact that he is obviously no good, but she realises that she’s _never_ naïve. She always looks for the worst case scenario.

But, in this man, she just can’t find one.

“Listen, I’m at the end of my shift and I have to sort out some stuff before I leave, but I just…want to wish you good luck. And to say that, if you decide to stay in this town—” _which I think you should_ , Rey thinks to herself, and then internally slaps herself for thinking that, “—there’ll always be a free cup of coffee here for you.”

He grins at her. His eyes look less troubled than they did when he came in. “Really?”

“You have my word.”

“Thank you,” he gushes, “thank you so much. It’s—it’s been so nice talking to someone who understands.”

Rey offers him a small, slightly sad smile. “Yeah. I get that.”

“Well, it was really nice to meet you. I’ll let you go, if your shift is over.”

“It’s okay. It was nice to meet you too,” Rey can’t remember the last time she said that. Just as she’s about to turn and walk away, she stops in her tracks and looks back at him. “Hey—I don’t know your name.”

He smiles again, slowly and slightly shyly. “Finn. What’s yours?”

Rey smiles, too. “I’m Rey.”

* * *

When Rey gets back to the hostel that night, she offers polite ‘hello’s to the people in the corridor before going to the small room section she lives in, heading over to her bed. She got lucky with this room; there’s usually only two other people sharing with her, at the absolute most. Tonight, though, it seems she’s on her own, which she doesn’t mind at all.

Rey sits on her bed, letting her head fall back against the cinder block wall; looking up at the piece of red fabric -  that was once a scarf before age set in - that she has hanging from the bed slats above her. It’s the only thing she took with her from her group foster home; and only because it’s the only thing she has from her family. She’s also strung some fairy lights over the slats, because they make sure that every night is a starry one.

After a few minutes, she changes in to her pyjamas and sits for a while; flicking through her phone and reading a bit of her book.

Looking at the clock, Rey sees that it’s now 6am, and the sun is going to rise pretty soon. That’s okay, though; it’s a good time of day. Rey is just about to think about whether she wants to stay up to watch the sun rise when she hears footsteps approaching the door. Frowning, Rey ducks her head so she can see the door, and then it’s opening, and someone wearing black trousers steps in to the room.

“Oh, hi, sorry—I should’ve knocked,” the voice says – a man’s voice; deep and soft and just a little familiar – and Rey frowns. “I’m not really used to these places.”

Rey frowns to herself for another moment. Her eyes have widened in horror just a little, because _why on earth is Finn here_? And, shit, he’s going to find out that she’s some deadbeat who lives in youth hostels and works night shifts just to get by with enough food to live on. That is never the impression she likes to give.

But her silence is obviously a little unnerving, and Finn steps forward again, looking tentative now. He ducks his head so he can see her, and his face actually lights up when he does.

“Rey?” He asks, incredulous. “What are you doing here!?”

Rey’s mouth opens and closes for a moment before she pushes herself off her bed and stands up in front of him. “Oh, hi, Finn…,” she tries for a smile. Inside, she is absolutely humiliated. “Um, I…,”

“Do you…do you sleep here?” He asks, saying what she was way too scared to say.

Rey exhales, offering a sheepish shrug of her shoulders. “Um…yeah. I kind of do.”

“Oh, well why didn’t you say?” He seems completely unfazed by this humiliating part of Rey’s life, which makes her stand up a little straighter, breathing evening out a little. “I thought I’d give this place a try, because you said it was the closest.”

“Yeah. Um—that’s a good idea.”

He takes off his baseball cap and throws it on the top bunk, running a tired hand over his hair. “Are you okay? You look a little…shocked.”

“No, I just…I wasn’t expecting anyone at this time of day, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Um…the beds are all free in this room. You can take whichever you like.”

“Oh, um…is it okay if I sleep in the top bunk here anyway? I’m kind of, uh…used to sharing bunks with people. Might help me sleep easier.”

“Yeah, that’s—that’s fine. No problem.”

“Sorry, I didn’t wake you up did I? You must be tired after your late shift.”

“I’m not, actually. All that coffee.”

He chuckles. “Me, too.”

There’s a moment of silence. Rey plays awkwardly with the hem of her shirt, scratching the back of her neck. She doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m, um…I’m gonna try and get some sleep anyway, I think.”

“Okay,” Finn smiles at her. “That’s no problem. I might do the same.”

Rey turns half away and grabs her book again. “Okay. Well…goodnight.”

“Oh, wait, Rey, I—I don’t suppose you know anywhere I can get food? Is there a kitchen in this place? Oh, I don’t suppose there’d be food there, if there is…,”

Rey was just pulling back her duvet, but she looks back at him, feeling a strange urge inside of her to...to give him some of her food?

She has never shared food with anyone. Not in her entire life. But, she supposes, she’s never given anyone free coffee until today, either.

There’s just something about this man. Something genuine. Open. Honest.

“Um…there is a kitchen, but yeah, no food.” Rey hopes he doesn’t notice how she’s looking at him like he’s something incredibly confusing. It’s not _him_ that’s confusing. It’s how she’s feeling right now.

 “Oh. Okay. Thanks. I’ll…go out and find something to eat tomorrow, I guess. Well…if I get any money.” He mumbles the last sentence to himself and looks away, reaching up to hold on to the ladder handles to help himself in to bed.

“Wait,” Rey finds herself saying. He stops in his tracks and turns to her, curious. “You can, um…you can have some of my food, if you like.”

Finn frowns, bringing his foot back down from the ladder. “Are—are you sure? I can’t ask you to do that!”

“No, it’s fine, really,”

“Are you sure? Seriously, Rey, I can manage—”

“It’s fine. I’ll be back in a second. With food.”

“I—thank you. You’ve been…so kind to me.” He meets her gaze, and not only his lips but his _eyes_ are smiling softly at her. He looks at her so gently. So gratefully. No one has ever looked at her like this before.

“It’s no problem, really. Wait—before I go. Do you have any allergies that might, you know…kill you?”

Finn chuckles and shakes his head. “Nope. Nothing. Thanks for checking, though.”

“Okay. I’ll be back in a minute.”

And she is. She comes back five minutes later with two bowls of cereal and two chocolate bars. There aren’t any seats in this room, so she sits on the floor against the wall and surreptitiously watches Finn as he follows and sits beside her. She hands him the bowl, setting the chocolate bars down on the floor between them.

“Thank you,” Finn says, looking her in the eyes for a moment. “Really. Thank you so much.”

“You’ve said that already.” Rey looks down at her bowl and scoops a mouthful of cereal in to her mouth.

“I know, I just—I am _really_ thankful,” he takes a spoonful in his mouth, too, and when he’s finished chewing, he speaks again. “I guess…when I ran away, I thought I was going to be doing this alone, you know? I thought I’d have to fend for myself. But you’ve just been so kind to me.”

Rey wants to go silent; she wants to push him away. She hopes he doesn’t think they can possibly be friends after this. She’s…just doing him a favour. It’s not a commitment. Of course it’s not.

“Yeah,” Rey says, and feels stupid, because he’s just said something really meaningful and all she can say is “yeah”.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t get too intense,” he chuckles, doing pretty well to hide the awkward note behind it. (But Rey still doesn’t miss it).

“It’s fine.” She says to her bowl of cereal.

They eat in silence for another few minutes, and Rey realises she’s forgotten how much she _hates_ the sound of other people chewing.

“So,” Finn says, placing the empty bowl down beside him and dusting off his hands. “What’s the company like here? Get any strange folk?”

Rey chuckles. “Oh, yeah. Not strange in a bad way, usually, but let’s just say a lot of the people are very…individual,” she smiles at him for a moment before looking away. “Don’t get me wrong, I love it. I like seeing people being themselves.”

“Me, too,” Finn nods in agreement, “I think everyone should be free to be just who they are. Where I came from – where I ran from – they never encouraged individuality, and because of that it's kinda special to see people being themselves.”

Rey looks at him for a minute, smiling softly, a little curious. A part of her wants to know more about his past; to ask questions.

“Yeah. I…know what you mean.” Rey says instead.

Finn looks out at the window on the opposite wall and his expression changes. “Oh, look, the sun’s rising,” he says, sounding surprised. “I…didn’t know it was that time already.”

“Yeah. I like to watch the sun rise. I do it a lot, because of my night shifts.”

“Do you only work night shifts?”

“Mostly.”

“Must be exhausting.”

“Not really. I just catch up on sleep where I can. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be there anyway, so it’s all good for now.”

“Do you not like it there?”

“Oh, no, I love it there. The people are great. I just…oh, look, the sun really is rising. I just—want to see it.”

Finn doesn’t notice the sudden change in subject because his face has lit up so beautifully and he’s following her over to the window. “Oh, wow, I—I don’t think I’ve ever even _seen_ the sun rise. At least, not when I actually have the chance to stop and look at it.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I can see…wow…it’s so pretty,”

The sun is rising over the ocean that glints on the horizon, creating an orange path in its wake, lighting the bottom of the sky in to a red and orange glow that fades to turquoise and somehow back in to the darkness that the night had held.

Rey lets herself glance at Finn. He’s staring out the window at the view before them, his mouth hanging open just a little, eyes sparkling at the view. He looks completely mesmerised. Rey has never seen anyone look so transfixed and awed by nature. If she didn’t think it’d be weird, she would happily watch him watch the sunrise all morning, because it’s just…a beautiful expression that he has right now. So honest. So genuine.

But Rey tears her eyes away and looks back at the sky, a small smile gracing her face. “It’s definitely one of my favourite things to look at.”

“Wow,” Finn breathes. “I can see why.”

“I…should try and sleep.” Rey says after a while, turning away from the window and walking back to her bed.

“Oh, yeah, um…me too, I guess,” Finn replies, but he’s still looking out at the sky. “Although I’ve never actually… _slept_ in the daytime before now.”

“It’s easier than you might think. After a night without sleep, anyway. And…after the night you’ve had, I’d imagine it won’t be so hard.”

“That’s true,” Finn chuckles.

Rey grabs her pyjamas from the bag under her bed and heads out the room, across the corridor and in to the bathroom. She keeps her bra on, because she _always_ keeps her bra on when there’s anyone else staying in her room. Brushes her hair and her teeth, splashes cold water on her face. She takes a moment to look in the mirror, taking in the dark circles under her eyes. It’s this time of day that she usually starts to feel the loneliest.

She’s not always _alone_ – there are often people sharing her room – but every day, without fail, she’s lonely. She _feels_ alone. And she feels it in the very depths of her soul.

After a long shift at the diner and seeing people come in and out with families and husbands or wives or friends, laughing, having fun, even just being silent together; they always seem so secure and happy and… _whole_.

(Not that Rey feels she needs another person to complete her, that’s not it at all, but not having anyone around at all is not ideal. She imagines that life must be so much more fun when you have people to share it with.)

So when she gets home from the diner every morning after seeing all these people living their lives, it just hits home how truly alone she really is. And how alone she always has been. And probably always will be; because she doesn’t trust anyone enough and she doesn’t want to get hurt.

It’s better to be alone than hurting.


	2. for you to tell me the tale of a shattered life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finn talks. and for the first time, so does rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Finnrey Friday! Enjoy :)

In the afternoon, Rey wakes up from a good eight hour sleep, and the bright post-midday sun is shining through the thin curtains of the bedroom. The walls are painted blue and the curtains are turquoise, so the sunlight casts a blue tint throughout the room, and she can smell someone cooking bacon in the kitchen. And, if she listens closely, laughter can be heard from the dining room. A group of travelling friends must have stayed the night.

Rey rubs her eyes sleepily and slowly climbs out of bed, careful not to rock the frame too much because she’s sure Finn is still asleep up there. And, with one glance up over the bars, her suspicion is confirmed. Finn is fast asleep, the side of his face pressed up against the pillow, duvet held right up at his chest. Rey knows it’s kind of creepy to stare at strangers as they sleep, so she looks away.

Stretching a little, she heads in to the bathroom; uses the toilet, washes her face and pulls her hair in to a ponytail before going to the kitchen. There are freshly cleaned pans on the sink draining board, and the laughing group of friends can still be heard in the next room.

Rey hesitates at the bowls, wondering whether to bring Finn some food or not. He’ll probably be waking up soon anyway, and he doesn’t exactly have anything else to eat. He doesn’t even have any _money_.

It’s not her job to feed the strays that come in here. Rey knows that. She barely even talks to any of them.

But Finn doesn’t feel like just a stray. She knows more about him than she does about the random guests that just come through for a couple nights, and she understands the place he’s in right now. Scared, alone, wondering where on earth to go; where your place is and how you’re going to survive life on the run.

Deep down, Rey really does wish she had had someone around at the first youth hostel she’d gone to, to give her some food and advice and offer a smile.

She picks up a bowl, fills it with cereal, and heads back to the room.

Finn is sitting up on his elbow when Rey gets back, rubbing sleepily at his eyes and frowning just enough that there's a little wrinkle forming between his eyebrows.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Rey says. “Here. I…brought you some breakfast. Thought you might be hungry.”

Finn looks at her, his expression shocked and, frankly, a little dazed. “What? No, you don’t have to keep feeding me, Rey. Seriously, I’m fine. I can go and find something to eat today. I mean it this time.”

Rey sighs. “Well, I’ve already put the milk on now, so you might as well just take it.”

“But you can eat it.”

She shoves the bowl at him and raises her eyebrows. “Take it. Eat it. Don’t feel guilty.”

“I…,”

“Don’t,” Rey cuts him off. “You don’t have to say anything.” She sits down on her bunk, her back against the wall. Hears Finn shuffle above her, the bed springs squeaking a little as he moves, presumably in to a more upright position.

“Thank you,” his voice says after a moment, small and almost distant. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

“I told you you didn’t have to say anything.” She replies, but she’s smiling softly, scooping up a spoonful of cereal.

“Yeah, I know. But I had to.”

 

An hour or so later, once Finn has had time to take a shower and Rey is dressed, Finn announces that he’d like to take a walk somewhere. Says it might clear his head and give him some perspective.

And Rey surprises herself by speaking without thinking when she tells him there’s a nice little path that goes down towards a lake nearby.

Finn smiles and says, “will you come with me?”

And she surprises herself again by saying yes.

The sun is shining nicely today. It’s not _really_ hot out, but it’s just right for Rey’s favourite jeans (that have a few tears in) and an old grey T-shirt.

Finn talks a lot. There are little moments where he’s silent, but he always finds something else to talk or laugh or smile about. He smiles because there are berries growing on the shrubs that line the lane. He laughs because there’s a bird in the road that keeps following them. And he talks about the sunrise he saw this morning and how he couldn’t believe how beautiful it was.

Rey is happy to listen. It’s not that she’s expecting him to be her friend – kind of the opposite – but it’s nice to have someone around that is willing to just _be_. He doesn’t seem to want anything from her; just someone to walk down to the lake with. And it’s nice. He’s happy to just walk, and talk, and even laugh a little, too.

In all honesty, Rey is kind of amazed at how easily he seems to be able to smile. After what he’s been through in the past couple days (or, at least, what she can _assume_ he’s been through, after running away), he can still laugh and have a casual conversation about the weather. Rey closed up after she ran away. She didn’t talk to anyone. Didn’t let anyone help her. (Not that anyone offered).

But Finn…Finn is so honest and open, at least he is with her, and Rey thinks it’s one of the bravest things she’s ever seen.

It takes them about twenty minutes to reach the lake. They find a spot of dry and short grass just in front of the water and sit down. Rey pulls her knees up to her chest and looks out at the sun shining on the water; the way there are little ripples forming on the surface every now and again and the light glints off each ripple like a piece of art. She glances over to Finn after a moment, seeing him sitting with his knees up like Rey's, his elbows resting on them.

She doesn’t know what to say. Finn hasn’t spoken in about five minutes and it’s strange. From what she knows of him, it’s not like him. He’s just staring out at the lake, a frown on his face, and he looks distant; like he’s thinking about something completely different to the beautiful sight before him. His face almost looks like it did last night when he first walked in to the diner. Kind of…lost. Afraid. Confused.

Pulling her gaze away, Rey squints in the sun and bites her lip. “Are you okay?”

Finn looks at her suddenly, and Rey looks back again. “What? Oh, um, yeah, I was just…thinking about…stuff.”

“Stuff. I know stuff. It can be…hard.”

“Yeah,” Finn chuckles. “You could say that.”

“I’m…sorry. That you’re going through such a rough patch.”

He’s silent for a moment, just gazing out at the water. “Honestly, what I’m worried about is that it might not just be a rough patch. What if…what if it’s always gonna be this way?”

Rey’s mouth opens and closes a few times. She wishes she knew what to say. Wishes she had an answer; something that would reassure him. But when she thinks about it, did she ever _really_ get out of her rough patch after running away? Or did she just move on to another rough patch and set up camp?

Rey wants to take that crease in his brow away (it’s a strange urge, to feel something compassionate to another person), wants to make him smile again and give him hope; but just finds herself just getting more and more frustrated because she has _no idea what to say to make it better_.

“Sorry,” Finn says suddenly, breaking Rey out of her thoughts. “I don’t mean to offload on you. I just…don’t really know what I’m doing. At all.”

“It’s okay,” Rey says, and finds herself meaning it. There’s a long, drawn-out silence. It’s tense, but not awkward. Rey finds a question on the tip of her tongue, and hesitates, wondering if it would be a better idea to just shut her mouth and not say anything at all.… She doesn’t. “Finn, I—I hope you don’t mind my asking, but…why were you running away from First Order?”

Finn exhales. He doesn’t say anything for a long moment.

“Sorry if I’m overstepping, just tell me if I am, I don’t really know how to—”

“No, it’s—it’s not that, it’s just…,” and he surprises her by laughing. It’s completely humourless, though; almost ironic. He shakes his head. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone. They made me swear it. It’s all some big secret apparently, but…,”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Secrets are secrets for a reason.”

“No—no, it…it might be good for me to tell someone about it. You know. Get it off my chest.” He turns to her and frowns. “That is if you don’t mind me talking about this. I don’t know how well I’ll explain it, so…,”

“I don’t mind,” Rey assures him genuinely. “Go ahead.”

He offers her a small smile before turning away again, picking up some grass in his hand. He starts pulling each piece apart as he speaks. “Okay, uh…when I was a child, First Order Corporation threatened my parents. They said that if they didn’t let me go with them that they would take me off and kill me. Probably slowly. But…they said that if my parents let me go, that I would be raised in a safe, controlled and proper environment. I…I just remember hearing my parents shouting _‘no! We’ll find you one day, Finn! We promise you!’_ as the First Order took me away. I don’t think I really knew what was happening. I…was in shock, I guess. I don't even know if my parents could've stopped them, or if they even wanted to.

And for a while I just blocked that day out. I actually forgot about it. But I remembered it about a year ago, when they were training me, and suddenly realised how awful that place really was. I’d always had my suspicions, of course, but that memory really just brought it home.”

Rey doesn't speak for a long moment. She speechless. Her heart feels heavy. She has a sudden urge to reach out and hold his hand. (She doesn’t, of course, but the urge is still there, and it’s _strong_.) “Oh, Finn, that’s…that’s awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. That is _not_ okay. _None_ of that is okay.”

Finn sighs, looking back out the lake and dusting his hands free of stray blades of grass. “And then, when I got older, they trained me. Or, they tried to train me; and brainwash me in to thinking like they did. In to thinking that they were doing the right thing in ruining people’s lives by trying to…take over the country, I guess. It’s…a horrible regime that I’m…sort of afraid will end up in a war.”

Rey blinks at him and waits for him to continue.

“So…they trained me, and sent me out on my first proper, serious mission just a week ago. That’s how I ended up on the run. And now I’m afraid that they’re going to find me. If they find me, they’ll either kill me, or worse. Especially if they…if they know I’ve told someone about what they secretly do; what they’re secretly about.

So…yeah. That’s…my story, I guess. In short. I’m sorry I rambled, I just couldn’t stop once I started, and I’ve never really talked about it—”

“No,” Rey cuts him off, feeling unexpected tears suddenly tightening her throat, making it harder for her to speak. “No, don’t be sorry. Really. I’m glad you told me. I—I just can’t believe you’ve been through all that. And the fact you had the courage to run away and be your own person? That’s just…that’s really, really brave, Finn.”

“I wouldn’t say it was _brave_ …,”

“It’s brave. It’s one of the bravest things anyone has ever told me they’ve done.”

He looks back at her. A small smile twitches at the corners of his lips. “Really?”

Rey nods seriously. “Really.”

His smile widens ever so slightly, and he seems to hesitate for a moment, like he wants to move in closer. And then he looks down, face falling, his hand finding its way in to the grass again.

When he speaks, his voice is tiny and quiet. “My family never did find me.... Maybe they didn't want to.”

Rey stares at the side of his face for a long moment. “So…you never knew them?”

“…I guess not. Not really. The faces I see in my head are just blurs. I probably made most of them up.”

Rey’s breath catches in her throat. She has to take a moment to breathe to stop herself from crying. But still, she speaks. “I…neither did I,” her voice is so tiny, so timid, that she’s surprised he can hear her. He turns to face her and frowns, urging her to tell him more. And, completely out of character, she _does_. “I never knew my family either. I was a foster child. Well, an orphan and then a foster child. I waited…,” she swallows the arising tears back again. Is she really telling him all of this? She’s never even said it out loud.…

But Finn looks at her differently to anyone else. He looks at her like she matters. Like she’s more than just a number or an employee. It’s so different that she’s not sure she can put the same “don’t trust anyone” rule on him like she does for everyone else.

She's cautious, but keeps talking anyway. “I…waited for seventeen years for my parents to come back for me, before I realised they weren’t going to find me in the place I was. And so…I ran away from the system. It was…horrible in there; they treated me like a number, like I didn’t matter. But I…I never found my family, and I guess I just decided to give up. It was easier to stop looking than, you know, just trying and trying and failing every time.”

Finn is still looking at her, his eyes suddenly even more glassy than they were before. His forehead wrinkles. His eyes are wide, like he’s in shock. He surprises her by slowly moving his hand along the grass towards hers, settling just beside it, the skin of his pinky finger just slightly brushing against hers.

Rey looks down at their hands, feeling her heart race in her chest, her skin suddenly spark where they’re touching. She can’t decide if she likes it or not, but…she finds herself not wanting to move away. (And that’s the thing. With Finn, somehow she’s sure that even if she did pull away, he wouldn’t mind).

Rey meets his eyes again, finding herself on the edge of tears, too. She swallows.

A phrase comes in to her head. Something she heard once, back in the foster system, when she lived with two people who got along so well from the very start. They had been inseparable, so similar but not in a bad way, and Rey just remembers feeling both jealous and sad, because she thought she would never have anything like that.

The phrase made no sense to her back then, really, because is anyone really meant to meet another person? Is it really possible to meet someone who you feel a connection to; who you feel understands you more than the rest of the world? Who you might not have known for long, but still feel you’ve known forever?

Regardless, the phrase comes up in her head, and it doesn’t go away.

 _Kindred Spirits._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg, that was SO incredibly mediocre at best, I can only apologise. It's been a Rough Week. The next chapter will be better!! I mean, it'll still be suuuuuper cheesy but you know, the /writing/ will be better :')  
> I hope you're enjoying this so far even though it's kinda not very good!! Please do leave kudos and a comment if you can to let me know your thoughts :)


	3. i am in and out of my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rey realises she's in way too deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title lyrics from "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Demi Lovato. (Part of a coming soon playlist to go with this fic!)  
> If you follow me on Twitter (@lovecamedown13), you may have seen a lil preview for this fic I posted a couple weeks ago. It was a couple of lines from this chapter. Now you know! :')

She’s woken suddenly and unexpectedly, jumping out of her skin when she feels something come in to contact with the top of her arm; something warm, something soft, and she’s hitting whatever it is away, shuffling right back up against the wall, and—

“Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, it’s okay,” a familiar, soft whisper says, and Rey’s tear-filled eyes focus just enough to find Finn staring at her, his brow deeply furrowed and eyes worried. He’s holding his hands up in the air, as if in surrender, making sure he’s not touching her at all, and Rey blinks. She realises she’s out of breath – panting, really – and there are tears soaking her cheeks.

Her brain is foggy. She’s shaking and her throat feels tight, like she’s just been crying, and her gasps for air are short and sharp.

“It’s okay; you’re okay,” Finn says, his hands slowly coming back down to his lap. Rey blinks some more and realises that he’s crouching down beside her bunk. The only light in the room is from the street lights outside, and her duvet is all curled in a ball at the bottom of her bed.

“You were—you were crying in your sleep, I realised you were having a nightmare, so I thought I would wake you up, I—I’m sorry if it wasn’t the right thing to do, I just thought…I didn’t want you to keep crying…,”

Rey’s cheeks burn bright red when she realises what just happened. How often does this happen when other people are in the room? Nightmares come frequently, but she never realised that she makes any noise out loud. What must other people think of her? How many other people have seen her this vulnerable?

Rey never lets anyone see her even slightly vulnerable, let alone crying and panting for air in the middle of the night. After having a _nightmare._ A nightmare, of all things. How old is she, five?

She furiously wipes at her cheeks and reaches down to the bottom of her bed, picking the duvet back up again. Then realises there’s sweat on her forehead, and she wipes that away too, feeling more and more humiliated by the second. She can’t let anyone see how she’s actually kind of a mess in her life.

“Rey? I’m sorry if I, um…I just thought I should wake you up…,”

“It’s fine. Thank you.” She mutters, turning away from him and pulling the covers right over her shoulders. And then Rey realises she’s still crying and, this time, she’s not entirely sure why.

Although it becomes clearer when Finn speaks again.

“Um…do you want me to…I mean—I can stay with you, if you want. I can sit here until you fall back asleep. I don’t mind. Really.”

“I’m fine, Finn,” Rey croaks out, trying to pretend she’s not still crying. "Go back to sleep."

This is _horrifying_. She can’t believe she just let this happen. Let herself be so raw and vulnerable in front of this man she’s only known for all of four days.

And it’s even more unnerving, the fact that Rey has met someone who cares enough to wake her up from a nightmare; and someone who would offer to stay with her until she fell back asleep.

The room is silent for a few minutes, but then the quiet sounds of Finn moving up the ladder and settling back in to bed can be heard. Rey wipes her eyes again. She's confused as to why she’s _still_ crying.

And why she said no to him staying. Then wonders why she’s even considering the idea that she might’ve said yes.

She wonders if he would’ve fallen asleep beside her bed. If he would’ve held her hand. If he would’ve spoken to her until she fell asleep again.

The thought keeps her awake for another hour. (And she gets the feeling that Finn is still awake, too).

* * *

In the morning, Rey wakes up as the sun rises. She lies awake for a moment, blinking in the dim light of the room, frowning when she realises the skin on her cheeks feels tight. Her hand comes up and feels the sticky remnant of what must be tears.

And then she remembers.

The tightness in her chest, the shake of her hands, the way she literally sobbed in front of Finn as he had stared at her with such concern and sincerity. She feels her cheeks flush red at the thought of it.

How had she let things get that far? Why didn’t she wake up? How could she let her guard down like that in front of someone else?

Rey never even realised she cried in her sleep when she had nightmares. They’re usually nightmares about her family, or losing her family, or about her time on the streets; and she’s always crying in the dream, so it makes sense that she cries out loud too. Especially when the dream just won’t let her wake up, no matter how hard she tries. And it’s not like it’s exactly in her control, what she does when asleep.

But it’s embarrassing. And it’s confusing and quite scary because she actually considered the fact that she might have asked Finn to stay with her. Rey doesn’t have _friends_. She doesn’t accept help; doesn’t need anyone. And the fact she’s let herself grow fond of Finn is kind of terrifying. She hadn’t noticed until this moment, but when Finn is around or looking at her or talking, there’s this warmth in her chest; a feeling of happiness that is entirely unfamiliar. It’s subtle enough that it’s taken a moment like last night for her to notice it’s even there. And she knows what it is. It’s… _feelings_. Feelings for someone else. Feeling fond of him; enjoying his company.

It’s dangerous, that’s what it is.

Quietly pushing back her duvet, Rey feels all sticky and gross – it often happens after she’s had a nightmare – and decides to take a shower. Being as silent as possible, she picks up her stuff and heads off in to the bathroom, hoping not to wake Finn.

As the water falls over her, Rey thinks about him. About what to do wth all these _feelings._ (Even the word is terrifying).

She can’t exactly suddenly shun him. She’s the one feeding him; heck, she’s known him for four days and she’s already offered to try and get him a job at the diner.

Because secretly, deep down (way, _way_ deep down), Rey wants him to stick around a little longer. Why she wants that is another complex entirely.

Again: it’s terrifying. Feelings are terrifying.

After her shower, Rey gets dressed, takes her clothes back to her room and then hurries off to the kitchen. She assumes Finn is still asleep but, knowing him, he’ll be waking up any time soon.

Rey hesitates by the cereal bowls, because _feeding_ Finn is actually kind of a commitment, and that's not what she ever wanted. But she knows she’s going to give in and give him food anyway. She can’t exactly let him go hungry, can she?

( _See. Compassion. Feelings. So many feelings._ )

 

Finn is sitting up in bed when Rey gets back.

“Morning,” he mumbles sleepily, rubbing at his eyes. “You didn’t have to bring me food.” He always says that. And the frustrating but also very endearing thing is: he always means it.

Rey hands it to him wordlessly and sits on her bunk, pulling her legs up to her chest. Her hair is wet and falling down on to her shoulders, creating little wet patches on her T-shirt. She’s bare-foot and wondering when things got so domestic between the two of them.

“So,” Finn starts after a few minutes of silence. “How are you this morning?”

Rey closes her eyes momentarily. “I’m fine.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Finn sounds surprised. “I just—I was kinda worried, after last night, I’m not gonna lie, so I just thought I’d make sure—”

“I’m fine.” Rey repeats.

Finn takes the hint. He stays quiet.

They eat their cereal in silence and soon Finn is doing the usual attempt to climb down his ladder whilst still holding on to his bowl. Rey tries not to giggle. (She usually giggles).

“I’m gonna go take a shower I think,” he says, letting out a breath when he reaches the floor. “Oh, you’ve already had one. Unless you want to go to the diner now, in that case I can have a shower later…,”

Rey looks away. Fiddles with the duvet between her fingers.

“Oh, um…unless you don’t want to do the diner thing anymore. That’s okay, too; I can find a job somewhere else! Honestly, that’s totally fine.”

“No,” Rey finds herself saying, and she wants to slap herself. “We can go. It’s fine. But you can have your shower first. My shift isn’t until later so we’ll go a little before then, if that’s okay?”

“That sounds perfect,” he grins at her, and it’s such a blinding grin that Rey has to look away again. She’s not even breaking a smile.

He doesn’t walk off straight away. He’s still looking at her – Rey can see in her peripheral vision – but she doesn’t look up.

“Are…you okay, Rey?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s just…you’re being sort of quiet.”

“I’m just tired.”

“Oh, yeah,” his voice turns a little more sympathetic, “I can understand that. I mean…you didn’t have the best night’s sleep…,”

Rey closes her eyes. Takes a deep breath in. Clenches her jaw. Last night is something she doesn’t even want to think about; it’s so humiliating. She wonders if she’ll ever be able to fall asleep in the same room as someone again.

“Right, sorry, I’m—going in the shower now.”

When he’s left the room, Rey can’t help but let out a little (very reluctant!) smile, because somehow he always knows when it’s a good time to shut up.

It’s a couple of hours before they set off. Rey spent the morning braiding her hair in to a braid moving around from one side of her head to the other and then finishing the book she’s currently reading. Finn had come in when she was braiding her hair and smiled at her.

“How do you do that?” He’d said. "It looks super cool."

“Hours of practice.” She didn’t turn around to look at him.

Just before they leave, Finn turns to Rey where she’s putting her shoes on and frowns. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

How does he even _know_?

“I’m fine. Let’s just go.”

“Rey—” he exhales, sounding frustrated, but looks away at the last minute, shutting his mouth just as soon as he’d opened it. Rey doesn’t wait for him to finish his sentence. Just walks past him and out the room, hearing him follow close behind.

They walk to the diner in silence for twenty minutes. Their steps are slow, Rey’s hands shoved deep in to her jean pockets as she stares down at the floor. Finn keeps glancing at her, and she knows he wants to say something, but he’s obviously getting her vibe. She’s only spoken to him a few times this morning, and he knows something’s up.

Just ten minutes before they get there – the diner is actually just ahead; they can see it in the distance – Finn stops walking. It takes Rey a second to realise he isn't just stopping for a minute; he’s stopped for good. She turns to face him, squinting in the sunlight.

Finn exhales again. He still sounds frustrated, and he’s not looking right at her. “Look, Rey—what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, I already told you that. Like, ten times.”

“Okay, it wasn’t _ten_ times. And no, you’re really not fine. You’ve barely said a word to me this morning.”

“I’m just quiet today. It _happens_.”

“It’s not just that. You have this _vibe_ about you that just—it’s not right. You’re obviously not okay.”

“Even if I’m not, Finn, I don’t have to talk to you about it.”

“No, you don’t. But I’m worried about you.”

Rey sighs through her nose, pushing her hands in to the back pocket of her jeans and looking away. Finn is staring at her. _He’s still staring at her_.

“Look, Rey, is it—is it about last night?”

Rey closes her eyes, because as soon as he says that, she wants to cry again. It’s pathetic, really. She draws in a deep breath through her nose, trying to stay calm.

“If it’s about last night, I—you don’t need to be embarrassed, okay? Seriously, you don’t need to be embarrassed. It’s okay—”

“That’s not just it!” Rey finally explodes, opening her eyes again and looking right at him. She’s sure the tears are gone now, but she has her doubts when Finn meets her eyes and his forehead wrinkles sadly, like he’s even more worried than he was before.

So she looks away, because she can’t stand when he looks at her like that.

“Then what else is it?” He asks, his voice so tiny.

“It’s—it’s _everything_. The fact I…the fact I think you’re my friend. That you care for me. That I’m letting you even a tiny bit close to me. I don’t have friends, and I don’t let people close; that’s not what I _do_. That’s not who I am. I’ve—I’ve never been like this before, okay? It’s even terrifying that I’m telling you this right now, because these are my _feelings_ , and I don’t _do_ feelings, and I—you could easily just take off and leave me and all of this would be out in the open, and I—” She hadn’t noticed the tightness in her chest until now; and the way the tears are at the backs of her eyes again, and she swallows hard to try and get them to leave her alone. Taking a breath, she looks away.

Finn doesn’t. He keeps his eyes on her, breathing evenly, forehead still wrinkled deeply. He doesn’t say anything at first. Rey glances at him without moving her head and wipes at her eye even though no tears have fallen yet. (Then instantly feels stupid for it).

“Rey,” Finn finally says. “Can I—can I hug you?”

She stares at him. Blinks. What the _hell_? He can’t just ask her that while she’s literally so close to tears in front of him, and she’s just bared her soul to him – the first time she’s _ever_ done that – and…

She finds herself saying yes.

He steps closer, slowly, hesitantly. And then he wraps his arms around her, and Rey is still at first, holding herself solid in his arms. But she feels the warmth of him pressed against her, the muscles in his arms, his chest slowly moving up and down as he breathes.

She can’t remember the last time anyone hugged her.

But he doesn’t let go yet, and eventually Rey just melts in to him, letting go of her fears just for a second long enough to wrap her arms around him in return, her hands curving up to hold the backs of his shoulders. She presses her face in to his chest and feels a tear leave her eye, and then it’s two tears, three tears, four tears. It’s terrifying, because she’s letting herself cry like this and be vulnerable, but she decides to worry about that later.

Because Finn’s hand comes up to hold the back of her head and he’s holding her tight, the side of his face pressed in to her hair. Rey isn’t crying, exactly, but there are tears falling from her eyes and she’s not exactly sure why. Maybe it’s being comforted for the first time in her life. Maybe it’s the fact she’s terrified. Maybe it’s feeling accepted for the first time ever.

Maybe it’s all of the above.

“We’ve both been alone our whole lives,” Finn says after what must be five minutes, the wind brushing over them and his voice a soft comfort so close to her ear. “I mean, alone, even if we were surrounded by people. And I—now that I’ve met you, I don’t feel that anymore. I know it hasn’t been long. And I understand why you’re so scared, Rey, because I feel it too. I mean, not as strongly as you, I don’t think, but I’m a little terrified. I understand you, Rey. We understand _each other_.”

Rey nods, because she’s felt that too.

“But please, I—I want to be your friend, and I…sort of mean a long-term friend. A real friend. I don’t want to scare you with that, and you don’t have to trust me enough to tell me everything about you; I don’t expect that of you. But please just…try and trust me a little bit? Enough to trust me when I say that I really like being your friend, and I really want it to carry on.”

“Finn…,” Rey doesn’t know what to say. She pulls away, bringing her hands up to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. When she looks back up at him, he’s looking at her with this look in her eyes that is just so _soft_ , so _caring_ ; she finds herself wanting to hug him again. He is so good that it’s actually hard to believe.

“Are you going to say anything, or do you just want me to hug you again?” He’s smirking now, and Rey finds herself bubbling with laughter, even through the tears. She shakes her head.

“I—I don’t know _what_ to say, I just—thank you. For, you know…hugging me. And being so understanding. And not judging me.”

“Why would I judge you? I’m the one who should be thanking _you_.”

“For what?”

“Are you crazy? Do you want a list of all the ways you’ve helped me since I met you?”

Rey smiles. What she doesn’t say is, _I could think of endless reasons as to why I’m suddenly happier now that I’ve met you_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is litz so rubbish omg. Thank y'all for reading anyway. This will have been in my drafts for a while (as will most of the chapters) but when I press publish, it'll be Friday, so happy Finnrey Friday! The chapters are drafts ready to post come Fridays instead of actually live published then just because I'm going through a really rough time right now, but I really wanted to keep updating this fic. Writing it is keeping me distracted and I don't wanna completely disappear from fandom, because Finnrey of course make me v v happy :')  
> I hope you're enjoying it so far even though I know it's not all that great! Do leave kudos if you're enjoying it and a comment if you can :)


	4. i'm staying now

Another week passes. Rey has only had one nightmare since then, and she was a little less embarrassed about it than she was the first time. At least a little progress has been made.

Finn got a job at the diner, and they’re usually working shifts together, meaning they’re often awake and asleep at the same time of day. They like to walk to the lake every day, but when it rains or if one of them is tired, sometimes they’ll just stay in and watch a movie on Rey’s phone. It’s not ideal, to just be staring at the tiny screen, but they spend most of the time talking or laughing anyway, so it’s not too much of a bother.

Tonight, it's one particular nightmare that has Rey waking up before she can start crying in real life (thank _goodness_ ), and she decides to just sit by the window, waiting for the sun to rise. She and Finn got in at about three last night. It’s only 6a.m. now. Three hours of sleep and a night shift again later; Rey is going to be a _mess_. (As if she's not already).

She sits on a pillow on the windowsill, her knees bent up with her arms wrapped around them, chin resting on top. There’s no point in going back to sleep now. In fact, she’s not even sure she _could_ fall back asleep; she’s cold and the sun is rising and her nightmare is still fresh in her mind.

But it’s okay. The sky is starting to look really beautiful, and if she looks across the room, Finn is lying in bed with his face pressed up against the pillow, and she knows she’s not alone.

After a half hour, Finn shuffles around in his bed. Rey thinks nothing of it – assuming he’s moving in his sleep – but then hears him yawn and glances over to find him propping himself up on his elbow.

“Hey,” he squints at her, barely even awake. “You okay? Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.” She whispers.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Seriously.”

“Um…don’t blame me for not believing you right now when you literally never admit when you’re not fine.”

“Finn, you literally _just_ woke up, and your eyes aren't even fully open, and you’re spending this time grilling me to find out what’s wrong?”

“I care. You know that.”

“I’m _fine_. I just had a nightmare and figured there was no point in going back to sleep. I’m okay though, really; please, Finn, go back to sleep. You need your rest.”

But, of course, he doesn’t do what she says. Of _course_ he doesn’t. (But her heart warms for him because of it).

Instead, he sits up properly, stretching his arms before shuffling over to the ladder and sleepily working his way down towards the floor.

“What are you doing?” Rey asks, exasperated.

“I’m going to the bathroom, and then I’m staying up with you.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes I am.”

“Finn, you’re barely even awake.”

“I’m perfectly awake,” he looks at her and his eyes are half open and puffy, his clothes are wrinkled; his entire face sleepy.

Rey scoffs. “You’re so _not_.”

“But I will be. Seriously, I want to stay up with you. Do you mind? And don’t say you mind just because you feel bad.”

She looks at him and sighs through her nose, but a small smile is twitching at her lips. “Okay. You can stay.”

He grins, and Rey wonders how someone’s grin can possibly be so bright at this time in the morning.

Finn comes back ten minutes later with some cereal and two mugs of tea sitting on top of a tray. Rey turns to him and smiles sleepily, her hand falling from where it had been running through her hair.

“You didn’t have to bring me breakfast.” She says.

“I wanted to. My treat.”

“Most people see a treat as, like, a breakfast out some place nice or even a fancy dinner. Us? We treat each other to cereal and tea and watch the sun rise.” Rey jokes, accepting the mug that he’s passing as he sits on the windowsill in front of her.

Finn chuckles. “Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.”

She smiles in response and thanks him when he hands her a bowl of cereal. They eat in silence for a minute, both staring out at the sky as it turns beautiful shades of red and amber and blue. Finn is mirroring Rey’s position; sitting opposite her with his back against the wall that surrounds the window like a frame, his knees up at his chest. The ends of their toes meet in between them.

“I was thinking, if you’re up for it, we could take a stroll to the lake. Might be good to get some fresh air?”

Rey nods. “Sure. You mean now?”

“Yeah. If you want.”

“Sounds good.”

Finn smiles, watching as she stands up and places her empty bowl on the surface she’d been sitting on. Just before she turns towards her bed, Finn reaches out and takes a gentle, barely-there hold of her hand. She looks at where he’s touching her and then up at him, frowning curiously.

“You sure you’re okay? You don’t wanna…talk about your dream?”

Rey smiles softly. She feels that familiar warmth spread through her chest and, instead of pushing it away, she lets herself feel it. Then takes a better grip of his hand and squeezes, lightly and reassuringly. “I’m okay. Really.”

Finn smiles with his eyes. “Good.”

 

They’ve never been to the lake at sunrise before. Well, Rey has, but she’s never seen it with Finn.

He has that same look in his eyes – the awed look that makes Rey wonder how he can possibly be as in love with this earth as he is – and she smiles, watching him instead of the sky. It reminds her of the first night she met him. Except now, she’s just a little less tentative.

A _little_. She’s still terrified. But just…less so. And she thinks it might even _still_ be going away a bit.

Which, in itself, is terrifying, too. But she thinks maybe it’s possible to work through it. To not be so scared anymore.

Finn turns to her and smiles softly. “What?”

“Nothing.” Rey looks away, suddenly feeling a little shy.

“No, what is it?” He’s smirking, like he knows a secret.

“It’s just—you looked so happy just then. You had this look in your eyes that was just… _happy_. Peaceful.”

Finn smiles at her again. She meets his eyes and smiles right back. It’s silent for a moment, just the sound of birds tweeting in the trees and the water lapping against the shore being heard.

Then Finn’s smile widens a little and he looks away. “I am happy.”

“Good. That makes me happy, too.”

“And that makes me happy.”

Rey chuckles. “A happy circle?”

“A happy circle.”

When Finn turns back to her, he has a look in his eyes that Rey has only seen on a few occasions before. They sort of sparkle and smile; wider than his mouth, which sounds weird, but it’s the best way Rey can think of to describe it. She loves when he looks at her like this. It makes her feel special. Wanted.

Especially when he moves his hand along the grass and places it over hers, threading his fingers through each of hers, like he’s trying to anchor himself to her.

Rey knows what that feeling in her chest is. She’s seen the movies. She’s read the books. Now she just has to actually _admit_ it to herself.

And when Finn looks at her like _this_ , it takes her one step closer.

“Finn—”

“Rey—”

They speak at the same time and instantly erupt in to giggles, Rey falling in closer to him as she grins even wider at the sight of Finn’s smile.

“Sorry, you go,” Rey says softly when they’ve calmed down a little, waving her hand in Finn’s direction.

“No, it’s okay, you talk first.”

“It’s nothing, it’s just—” she looks away. And when she speaks again, her voice is so small and quiet. “It’s kind of random actually, but I just…wanted to say that I…I think I trust you, Finn. At least more than I’ve—I’ve ever trusted anyone.”

Finn doesn’t say anything. He’s completely silent, but he’s looking at her; Rey can see it in her peripheral vision. So she glances up at him without moving her head and sees him staring at her, his eyes wide and forehead wrinkled. He’s breathing through his slightly open mouth and Rey frowns, not really sure what to say in this situation. Is she supposed to say something more? Is he _supposed_ to be completely silent right now? Is that a thing?

“I—” Finn finally says, “I…that means so much to me, Rey… _you_ mean so much to me,” he squeezes her hand and Rey lets out a cautious smile, feeling tears sting at the backs of her eyes; which is ridiculous, really, because this wouldn’t be a huge emotional moment for most people. At all. But Rey thinks that Finn knows how much those words – 'I trust you' – mean, coming from her; and that’s why he looks like he could cry any second, too.

Rey squeezes his hand back and smiles a little wider.

"You mean so much to me, too."

His eyes light up.

“What was it you were going to say?” She asks after a long moment. Finn stays silent, looking at her and just shuffling in closer, not breaking their eye contact for a second. Another few moments are spent wondering what he’s going to say before Rey realises he’s probably not going to say anything at all. Because his eyes glance down at her lips for the tiniest second, and she thinks her cheeks might catch fire with how much they suddenly flush with heat.

That look in his eyes is even more intense now; so heartfelt and soft and meaningful. He knows how much this means. How much it means to both of them, to feel comfortable being like this with each other; being honest and _trusting_.

Rey never thought she would find herself in this situation. This situation where someone who means a heck of a lot to her is leaning in closer, eyes locked on hers, searching her soul and making her feel things she’s only ever read about. She never thought this would happen to her. And she figured that, if it did, it’d be too darn terrifying and she would just run away.

But here he is. This man who literally stumbled in to her life and grew more and more important to her as the days went on; this man who somehow makes it easier to trust than it’s ever been before. And he’s just as broken as her. Just as lost and confused. But when they’re together, it’s like none of that matters. Being his friend seems to make things seem less bleak. They can't fix each other, of course they can't, but things aren't as hopeless.

They aren't alone anymore.

He’s staring right in to her eyes still, and Rey tries not to freak out too much because he’s pretty close now and she finds her mind wandering to places; places that see him holding her; touching her; kissing her. He’s making her feel everything and nothing all at once. It’s new. Is it nerves or anticipation building in her stomach right now?

Finn reaches out and puts his hand on her cheek, gently tucking it just under her hair that falls ever so slightly over her cheeks, watching her eyes the whole time to make sure she’s okay with this. She just stares back at him, wide-eyed, heart racing in her chest. She doesn’t want to pull away. Not one part of her wants to pull away.

(But she’s kind of _really nervous_ , so she’s not exactly leaning in either).

He searches her eyes, raising his eyebrows in a question without saying anything; and Rey nods softly, hoping he won’t move his hand from her cheek because it’s so good. Her skin tingles under his palm. She wants to reach out and touch him, too, but she’s not even sure where to start.  
She kind of wants to touch every part of him. Especially every part of his face; and especially in this moment right now, when he’s looking at her like _this_ , and his face is glowing in the day's first sunlight, and _how are his eyes so kind_?  
Then those very eyes move down to her lips and he tilts his chin up towards hers, breath dancing across her face. He leans in and catches her top lip between both of his, and Rey just wants to melt in to him; to melt in to his touch and his _warmth_ and the way this is so new but just feels so right. Shaking just a little – from uncertainty, not discomfort – Rey brings her hand up to sit lightly against the top of his arm, settling over his beautiful, soft skin. He pulls his lips away for a moment, just breathing against hers, but then he moves in again with his mouth more open and Rey reciprocates, moving in with just a little extra confidence this time. After a few seconds, her hand moves up to fist against his T-shirt sleeve, trying to hold him in close to her as long as possible. Finn’s hand moves back a tiny way back in to her hair. Rey wants to keep kissing him forever; she seriously could, and no one would ever hear her complain.

Because he’s so _good_. And his mouth is so warm and wet. And his breath is brushing against her cheek, lips moving rhythmically against hers. She wants to be this good for him in return. Wants to kiss him like he’s kissing her right now. Moving and giving and taking; showing so many emotions through the simple touch of four lips.  
But she’s never kissed anyone before – has _Finn_ even kissed anyone before? If he hasn’t, he is _seriously_ good for a first-timer – and her confidence is low, so she just lets him kiss her; lets him move and suck and touch and breathe. He doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seems to just melt in to her even more. Like he just wants to do this all day. Like he wants to kiss her and consume her and taste her lips all the time.

Her hand moves up and over his shoulder, cupping his neck for a moment before finding its place on his cheek, thumb smoothing over his cheekbone. Then Rey realises she wants to _look_ at him, because, God, he is so beautiful.

She pulls away just slightly and looks in to his eyes, and he smiles softly at her, fingers gently moving against her hair, like he’s trying to comfort her or say something to her. Her eyes explore his face. His beautiful face, with his soft, warm eyes and his beautifully glorious lips; his chin, his cheekbones, his hair, his _everything_.

“I…,” she tries to speak, but no words will come out.

He smiles at her, bumping their noses together briefly. “Was that okay?”

Rey wants to scream _that was the best thing I have ever known in my entire life!_ , at him, but she’s still a little lost for words (or breath, for that matter), so she just decides to lean in and kiss him again.

He doesn’t complain.

 

An hour later when they get back to their room, Rey giggles and blushes when she takes off her cardigan and realises the entirety of the back is covered in grass.

She’d kissed him for a long while, getting more and more confident by the minute, smiling wide when she realised Finn was being gentle and careful because he knew she was trying to get a little more used to it. And after a while, her back had started to ache; so when she pulled away and told him, he tentatively got her to lie down and asked her if it was okay.

“We don’t have to lie down, I mean—it’s just if you want to…keep doing this…,” he’d started, hovering over her, but Rey had cut him off by just bringing her hand to the back of his neck, and pulling him back down for another kiss.

Now, she dusts her cardigan off in to the trash and Finn smirks. “Guess we didn’t realise the grass had just been cut.”

“…No,” Rey blushes. “We didn’t.”

“How are you feeling?” He asks. “I mean, tiredness wise.”

“A little tired.”

“Why don’t you try sleeping again?”

“I could. Don’t you need to sleep, too?”

“Probably not as much as you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing! I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, back when I was with the Order, I was only allowed minimal sleep every night anyway, so my body is kind of used to little sleep.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Well…that, and – don’t take this the wrong way – you do _look_ kinda tired.”

Rey hits him playfully on the arm and laughs. “Gee, thanks.”

“You know I don’t mean it badly.”

“I know,” she smiles at him, running a hand through her now matted hair. “Yeah, I might try and sleep again. I’m not sure how successful it’ll be, mind you.” Rey turns towards her bed and reaches for her pyjamas that she so neatly threw across her mattress earlier before they left for their walk.

“Um…this is going to sound weird, but…if you’d like, I could…I could read to you? I don’t know, I guess I’ve heard of that being something that can help people fall asleep…,”

Rey turns to him and frowns.

He doesn’t even give her a second to reply because he’s already looking away and shaking his head rapidly. “No, you’re right, I—I guess it sounded even weirder out loud than it did in my head. Just, forget I ever suggested that.” His laugh is nervous and quiet, and Rey smiles softly, thinking that, surely, her own eyes must be sparkling like his do when he looks at her? Because he’s just _way_ too cute for his own good and, boy, does she feel a lot for him.

“I never actually replied,” Rey smirks, “you didn’t give me a chance before you started babbling.”

He looks back at her, looking humiliated for a second before he realises she’s joking. “Sorry, I…I babble when I get nervous.”

“You know, I never noticed!” Rey teases, sarcasm behind every inch of her words, and Finn grins at her in return.

“Alright, Miss Sarcasm. Easy on the tone.”

She giggles and steps in closer to him, her pyjamas hanging over her right arm. “I’d…actually like it if you read to me,” she realises her voice sounds ridiculously shy and looks away, shuffling her foot along the floor a little. “I guess I…I missed out on that part of my childhood, so it…might be nice to experience it now.… Is—is that weird? That’s weird.”

“No,” Finn says straight away. “It’s not weird at all. I…actually feel the same way, if I’m honest.”

Rey looks at him again and her lips twitch in to a tiny smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then I guess I’ll just have to read to you one day, too.”

He smiles, too – just a small turn of the corners of his lips, and his eyes are shining at her again – and it makes Rey want to kiss him. She wants to grab him by the collar of that T-shirt and pull him in and kiss him until her lips are numb.

But she’s not even sure if that’s acceptable – are they kissing now? Is it a thing she can just… _do_? – so she looks away and tells him she’s going to get changed, because looking at his face is just too hard to resist.

 

Finn sits at the end of her bed, his back against the wall and Rey’s favourite book in his lap. Rey curls up under her covers (she sleeps in a ball, so there’s more than enough space for him at the bottom of her bunk) and tries not to smile too widely, feeling him get comfortable.

“Are you ready?” He asks softly, his voice almost a whisper. He'd insisted on having the curtains shut even though it now means he can’t see as well.

Rey nods, holding the duvet right up around her face. “Yep.”

“Okay,” Finn chuckles.

“What?” She opens one eye to look at him and raises an eyebrow. He smirks at her and shrugs one shoulder, shaking his head slightly.

“Nothing. You just…you look cute.”

Yep. There’s that feeling of wanting to kiss him again.

(Why is she only _just_ realising the true extent of his beauty? In every single way? Why is she only just letting herself think about how wonderful his arms are and how, yeah, she would quite like to cup her hands on his cheeks and kiss his jaw and his chin and his _neck_?)

Rey smiles, closes her eyes again and waits for him to start. And when he does, his voice is so deep and soothing and _lovely_ that it doesn’t take long for her to feel herself getting sleepier. Especially when his hand settles against her ankle over the covers, and she can just about feel his thumb smoothing back and forth, and it creates such a sense of comfort; of being safe and cared for. It’s easy to drift off to sleep.

 

And, five hours later, Rey wakes up calmly and slowly. Her eyes flutter open and she frowns upon feeling a weight spread over the side of her leg. When she lifts her head, she sees Finn lying there, fast asleep, lying over her legs. It makes her smile, as much as she tries to suppress it. He is so cute.

He stirs when Rey shits just a little and it only takes him a second to realise his position. Instantly he sits up, looking around and blinking confusedly. When he looks at her, his forehead breaks out in to a frown.

“Rey, I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you, that wasn’t cool, I’m so sorry! I must have drifted off, I--I don’t remember doing it but I...I’m sorry—”

“Finn,” Rey chuckles fondly, pushing herself up so she’s sitting in up front of him. “Breathe. It’s okay,” softly, she smiles at him, and then tentatively reaches out to place her hand against his cheek. Rey never knew it was possible for someone to be as considerate as Finn.

“It is?”

“It’s fine, Finn. Kind of cute, actually.”

He smiles. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” A moment passes and Rey smiles wider, leaning in to press a soft, long kiss to his forehead. And, when she pulls away, Finn’s grin is so wide that it’s almost blinding.

“Finn, I...I need to tell you something. Can I tell you something?”

“Always.”

Looking down, Rey smiles. Her hand isn’t on his cheek anymore; it’s sitting on the duvet between them. His hand is on her ankle, though, his thumb still smoothing over it like he did when he began reading.

“I...I just want you to know that I--I really care about you. I’m glad you stuck around here, in this town. I’m glad I got to know you.”

Finn grins again. This time, there’s a look in his eyes that is hopeful and cautious all at the same time. “I feel the same, Rey.”

She smiles in return, but still doesn’t look at him. “I can’t remember the last time I felt this happy. And...,” she takes a deep breath, readying herself to say these next words. What she’s about to say means everything to her. It’s everything she’s ever wanted, and that’s pretty darn terrifying. “...I just wanted to say that I’m really happy, because I...I’ve been moving from place to place for so many years now, trying to find where I belong, and I...I think I’ve finally found where I belong. Where I feel at home.”

He smiles in to her eyes, bringing his hand to sit over hers and squeeze lightly. “That makes me so happy. I’m glad you’ve found that place. It is nice here. And you have a nice job, and the scenery is so pretty, and...,”

Finn’s words fade off to Rey’s ears because he _completely missed her point_. Well, actually, her point wasn’t very obviously put, to be fair to him; but could one blame her for being scared of what she said? That she’s finally found a home, but she knows now that it’s not a place; it’s a person?

So instead of doing the logical thing and correcting him, telling him that, actually, _he_ is where she belongs now; Rey just smiles and nods and agrees with him and then tells him she’s going to get dressed. (Not without kissing his forehead again; if only to see that blindingly beautiful grin he gave her before).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Finnrey Friday! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Finally an admission of feelings. And a kiss, obvs.  
> I had this idea of having them kiss in the place they first kind of had a real deep conversation and where they almost held hands and where they realised their connection. I then realised that was really cheesy. But kept the idea anyway. :')  
> As always, leave a comment if you can, and kudos if you enjoyed! <333


	5. you put your arms around me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their peace is disturbed.

Two more weeks pass. Finn and Rey have settled in to a routine for their working days and a routine for their non-working days. Almost every day includes visiting the lake, because it’s so beautiful and no two days there are the same; there’s always a new fish or bird or different weather, or the lake is deeper or clearer. Rey declares that one day she might just buy a swimsuit and go swimming in it, because it’s so darn pretty and, on sunny days, it’s so inviting.

Rey isn’t entirely sure what she and Finn are to each other; whether they’re just friends still or something more. She figures they’re probably the latter, because they kiss every day, and Finn always holds her hand when they’re walking and kisses her forehead when they have a little moment to themselves. And Rey has taken to cuddling closer to Finn’s side if they’re ever standing together. And especially doing so when they watch movies. She likes to snuggle right up in to him and wrap her arms around his torso, holding him to her, not wanting to ever let go.

There’s still a warmth in her chest whenever he’s around. It’s only grown stronger since the beginning.

 

One night (when, thankfully, no one else is staying in their room), Rey falls asleep quickly, making a nice change; but it feels like just as quickly she’s being woken up again. Another nightmare. Another _fucking nightmare._ Finn’s been having them too, recently, and she’s become fairly acquainted with waking him up and smoothing her hand over his hair, whispering comforts to him until he calms down again. He never asks her to stay, so she doesn’t offer, just in case it’s not what he wants.

But tonight, Finn’s the one waking her up, and his hand is a soft comfort against the top of her arm as she comes-to.

“Hey,” he whispers, “shh. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Rey sniffs, wiping away the tears on her face with her trembling hands, and sitting up a little on her elbow. “I’m so sick of waking up like this.”

“I know. It sucks. I’m sorry...do you wanna talk about it?”

Rey shakes her head. She never wants to talk about it, but he always asks, just in case. It’s the sweetest thing. She shakes her head now though, still not looking at him, “No. Thanks.”

“Hey,” Finn reaches out and gently brushes her tears away, lifting her head up so she meets his eyes. “You’re okay now. I’ve got you.”

“I know,” Rey lets out a very teary smile, holding his wrist as his palm sits against her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” leaning in, he presses a soft kiss on her forehead, takes her hand and squeezes it briefly before standing up again. This is what usually goes down; Finn wakes her up, comforts her and then goes back to bed; because she always turns down his offer to stay.

But tonight, Rey’s dream was especially lonely and scary, and she really just wants to be near Finn; to be near the one person who reminds her she’s not alone anymore. The person who makes her feel at home wherever they might be.

She’s changed her mind.

“Wait,” just before he’s out of arm’s reach, Rey reaches out and takes his hand. He turns back to her and frowns. “Will you...will you stay with me?”

The corners of his lips twitch up ever so slightly in to the tiniest of smiles. He squeezes her hand and crouches back down again. “Of course I will.” Turning a little, he looks as though he’s going to sit on the floor beside her bed, still holding on to her hand, but Rey stops him.

“I—I sort of meant, um...with me. Like…beside me, in bed. If—if we’ll fit, anyway. And if you’re comfortable with that?”

“Oh, um...yeah. That’s—that’s fine. Of course I can do that.”

Softly, Rey smiles. “Thank you.”

“How do you want to, um…do this?”

Rey finds herself blushing at the thought of saying, ‘I’d quite like you to spoon me’, so instead she goes for, “do you want to, like, go behind me? That might be the best way to fit.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

It takes some maneuvering and shuffling about and Rey accidentally hitting Finn in the shoulder with her elbow at one point, but eventually they settle rather comfortably, and rather _close,_ with Rey lying on her side facing the wall and Finn pressed right up behind her. His arm wraps over her waist and she places hers on top, lacing their fingers together. She can feel his breath on the back of her neck, brushing the hair there, and it makes her feel so warm and comforted.

Taking a deep breath, Rey relaxes back in to him.

“This okay?” He murmurs, his voice against her skin.

Rey nods, eyes closed, and squeezes his hand. “It’s perfect.” She breathes, feeling Finn smile.

“Good.”

“I…thank you for staying with me.”

“It’s no problem,” he presses a chaste kiss against the spot just behind her ear. “You’re kind of cold. Do you want an extra blanket or something?”

“I’m good. You’re warming me up.”

He chuckles. “Good,” and then, after a moment, “are you okay to try and sleep again? Or do you want to just talk for a little while?”

“I don’t want to keep you awake.”

His lips press against the back of her neck again, this time for longer. “It’s fine, Rey. Really. I wasn’t sleeping well either.”

She chews on her bottom lip. “Are you sure it’s okay to stay up for a little while?”

“Rey, lying here with you like this, I don’t think things could be more perfect. It’s honestly fine. I’d rather be awake to enjoy it, anyways.”

Rey giggles, then lifts their joined hands up to her mouth and kisses the back of his. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Rey. You know that.”

 

She does know that. And that’s what makes this all so much more meaningful.

* * *

Rey is at work today without Finn; he doesn’t work on Fridays, usually spending his free time stocking up on food for the week or using Rey’s laptop to catch up on episodes of The Flash. (Rey _loves_ it and insisted a week ago that Finn watch it too, so he’s working his way through the episodes).

She gets through two hours of work without a word from Finn, which is unusual; usually he texts her every reaction to an episode or tells her what he’s doing, but today, there are no messages on her phone at all. Rey tells herself not to worry; that he’s probably just having an absentminded day, and there’s nothing wrong.

“Are you and Finn dating?” Finn and Rey’s colleague, Hannah, asks, breaking Rey out of her thoughts. She has a cheeky, bright grin that always seems to be present, and a twinkle in her eyes as she looks at Rey.

Rey, stacking the mugs under the counter, scoffs and chuckles a little nervously. “That was random.”

“Yeah, I know,” Hannah grins, “but seriously—are you a couple? You act couple-y all the time. You’re constantly on the verge of actual PDA.”

Standing up, Rey laughs and shakes her head, dusting her hands off on her apron. “We are _not_!” She giggles. “But, uh…yeah. I think we might be…together.”

“Aww…that’s so cute, Rey,” Hannah smiles at her. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

“And I don’t blame you for liking him; he is _fine_.”

Rey laughs and nods, because yeah, her boyfriend _is_ pretty darn fine. “I know.”

 

An hour later, Rey heads in to the break room and checks her phone again; but there’s no text from Finn. She decides to text him first, just to see what he’s up to.

_How are things w/you? Work is boring without you. Xxx_

Just as she presses send, though, the back door to the diner comes flying open and Finn is suddenly there in front of her, out of breath and sweating, with that same look in his eyes that he had when he and Rey had first met. Rey’s eyes go wide in an instant and she runs over to him, arms reaching out to him on instinct even though she has no plan as to where she’s actually going to touch him.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Finn, what’s wrong?” Her heart is suddenly pounding in her chest. He bends over and leans his hands against his thighs, catching his breath for a moment. Rey’s hands settle on the tops of his arms. “Finn, talk to me, what’s going on? Did you run here? What’s wrong?”

“They found me,” he eventually says, panting for air, looking her in the eyes and scaring her even more because he looks so _terrified_.

“What? Who did?”

“First Order,” he says, “they—they found me. I’m not just being paranoid this time, I—I actually saw them. They were coming towards the hostel in a big group, looking really angry, and they were definitely looking for me because there were a few members of my group there. I—I ran so fast; I went out the back door and had to try and sneak past them all to come here, and I just kept running and running. Rey, I—I have to go. I have to leave this town. They know I’m here now. I need to run away; I need to run far away.”

Rey’s eyes are wide, heart pounding in her chest. This is all so sudden and has happened so unexpectedly; she’s never had to deal with anything like this before. Nothing as serious or life-threatening. If the First Order find him after he ran away, he is going to be in serious danger; especially if they find out that he’s told Rey about the things they do. They can't find him. They’ll kill him. They’ll _kill him_.

Rey tries to stay calm. Or, at least, she tries to _appear_ like she’s a little calmer than him. “Finn, wait, just breathe—”

But she knows there’s nothing she can say or do. He’s right. He has to run; has to find a new place where they can’t find him and can’t do anything to hurt him. She can’t stop this.

He takes her by surprise by reaching out and taking both of her hands in his and looking her right in the eyes, the worry on his face temporarily replaced with sadness, his forehead wrinkled.

“Rey, I’m so sorry. But I have to go. I can’t stay here. I’m so sorry, the last thing I want to do is to leave you, I promise I would do anything to stop that happening if I could, but I don’t think I can—”

“I’m coming with you,” Rey cuts him off, eyes wide and breathing shallow. It’s one of those strange moments where you speak before thinking at _all_ ; like the words had a direct line from her brain to her mouth and didn’t stop for permission. But she’s surprised by the fact she means it. She really, really means it.

“Wh—what?” Finn stammers, frowning deeply now. “What? No, Rey, I can’t let you do that for me, I—”

“I mean it,” and there goes her brain again, just letting the words come out without thinking. Or maybe she is thinking, and this is what she knows she has to do. What she _wants_ to do.

“No, Rey, you—you just started to feel at home here! I can’t take you away from that. I can’t just come and drag you away; you’ve been searching so long to find your home, and now you’ve found it, and I can’t just ask you to leave that for me…,”

Rey sighs, looking away for a moment and closing her eyes. And when they open again, she looks right in to his and steps in even closer to him, her own forehead wrinkled now, too.

“No, Finn,” she says softly, “what I meant when I said that was that—I—I feel like I’ve started to feel at home, like maybe I’ve found what I’ve always looked for, but—but it’s not because of this town or a place. It’s because—it’s…because I met you,” she steps closer. “ _You_ are where I’ve found my home. It’s got nothing to do with this place.”

Finn’s eyes are wide. He’s breathing heavily, still out of breath from all that running. Rey swears there are tears forming right on the edges of his beautiful, scared eyes and she frowns, because she doesn’t want him to cry. Doesn’t want him to be in pain.

“I—really?” He stammers.

“Yes,” Rey squeezes his hands and takes another step closer to him, and her face is so close to his now that she can feel his warm breath against her face.

“You—you think of me as…,”

“My home. Yes. I—I think I do. No, I _know_ I do. And now that I’ve found that in you, I am not leaving you.”

Rey waits for him to speak – to say something, _anything_ – because she has never really admitted something so vulnerable or deep before and it’s kind of terrifying: just standing here, waiting for a reaction. His eyes are flicking from her left to her right eye, doing that thing where it feels like he’s searching her soul and her heart and somehow bringing them even closer together.

But he doesn’t speak.

Instead, his hands come up to cup her cheeks, fingers spread out against her skin, just teasing the edges of her hairline. And then he kisses her, hard and long and passionate, lips moving so _beautifully_ across her own that it makes Rey’s knees weak.

When he pulls away, the words he says have Rey swearing she’s going to start ugly-crying.

“I love you, Rey,” he whispers, pulling back just enough that he can look in to her eyes.

Rey’s breath catches in her throat. His hands are still on her face, and she slowly brings her own up to the lapels of his shirt, fisting them in to her hand and kissing him again. Those three words, _I love you_ , are something Rey has both desired more than anything and feared more than anything for her entire life. She’s always wondered what it might feel like to have someone say it; to have someone say it and _mean_ it.

And, more than that, Rey always wondered what it might feel like, to be able to say those words to someone else and really mean them.

She doesn’t have to wonder anymore. Because now, she’s got her lips pressed to Finn’s, and there are tears on his cheeks that she wants to kiss away, and she’s really about to say it.

“I love you too, Finn.” The words come out as a whisper, because there are tears catching in her throat. She _loves him_. She really, really loves him; and saying it out loud doesn’t feel as scary as she thought it would. It almost feels like a relief, because all those feelings that have been around since the very beginning are now out there in the open, and he feels the same; and Rey can’t quite believe this is happening.

Finn kisses her again.

“I mean it, Finn,” Rey pulls away to say, “I’m coming with you. I—I’d go anywhere with you. Wherever we have to go, whatever we have to do to escape the horrible things the First Order did to you, I’m going and doing it all with you.”

Tears fall from his eyes as he reaches out to wipe hers away with his thumbs. He looks like he wants to kiss her again, but they’re running out of time. “I…you would really do this for me? Give up everything you have here, just to come with me?”

“Of course I would. And just to stop you feeling bad: what do I have here to give up? A nowhere job at a diner by the road, a life in a youth hostel, which has been by myself until you came along. I have far more to lose by letting you leave without me than leaving this town with you,” her tears have stopped for a moment, because she has a determined look in her eyes, trying to reassure him that this is what she wants. But the tear tracks are still on her cheeks and her throat is still tight. “…I don’t care where we are, Finn. As long as I’m with you.”

“I…Rey, I…,” he doesn’t finish his sentence. He’s shaking his head, almost in disbelief, and looking at her like she is something amazing.

“We should go,” Rey tells him, cupping his face in her hands. “We’ll go and get our stuff from the hostel, and we’ll go. We won’t look back. We’ll be okay. Okay?”

“Wait,” Finn grabs her hand as she begins to walk past him towards the door. “Rey, I—I don’t want to throw you back in to the life of running away again. I don’t want that for you. You deserve more than that; a home that is somewhere safe and constant.”

Rey can’t help it. She kisses him again. Soft and slow, her lips closed against his. “Finn, I never stopped being on the run. I’ve _always_ been on the run. Except now, I’m running to _you_ , not away from something.  
It’s okay. This is just what we have to do. And, besides, as long as I’m running with you, I don’t care how long we have to run for. Even if we have to run all the way to Australia. I mean…we’d fly, but still.”

Finn chuckles; a teary, weak chuckle, and he kisses her forehead. “That doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, you know.”

Rey laughs too. “I love you. Come on, we gotta go.”

“I love you too.”

And, before they go anywhere, Rey reaches down, laces their fingers together, and squeezes tight.

They’re not alone anymore, and they never will be again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY GOSH THIS IS SO CLICHE AND TROPE-Y I CANNOT BELIEVE
> 
> Anyway, hello all! Thank you for reading, and as always, please do leave kudos if you enjoyed and comments are always very much appreciated :) 
> 
> Love :* xxx


	6. and i'm home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> firsts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeee finally. the rating is for a reason in this chapter, just fyi!

In the midst of running and hiding and trying to find somewhere that’s _safe_ , Finn and Rey’s relationship still carries on. They fall asleep together at night. Hold each other’s hands, even when they’re running. Tell each other they love each other anytime they can. And now, things are moving on; moving to things deeper and fuller and very unknown, but very much wanted.

 “Can I ask you something?” Rey had said a few days ago, before saying anything else towards their discussion of sex.

“Yeah. Of course. Anything.”

“Are you…I mean, I’m just wondering, it’s not vitally important or anything but, just…are you…a virgin?”

Finn ducked his head. He bit his lip when he looked back up at her from under his eyelashes and, God, it made her want to kiss him.

“Yeah,” he said eventually. “Yeah. I am. The…the other people back in the Order used to have sex, but I—I always thought that, for me at least, it meant more than just the physical stuff, you know? I guess I always just…wanted to wait until I found the right person. So it could be out of love. Not that I ever knew if I _would_ find the right person…,”

Rey’s lips twitched in to a small smile. “I am, too. A virgin, I mean. I’m not—I’m not clueless, obviously, I mostly know what I'm doing. I guess I’ve just never really trusted anyone enough.”

“Yeah. I’m the same.”

“So…do you think you’re ready? Do you think _we’re_ ready?”

Finn smiled. He reached out and took her hand, not breaking their eye contact for a moment. “Yeah. I do. I mean—if you do? It’s okay if not. Or if you’re saving yourself for marriage, or you just don’t _want_ to have sex at all, that’s fine too…,”

“No, I do,” Rey said straight away. “I _really_ do, Finn. Like… _really_ do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she laughed, just because she couldn’t quite believe how much she wanted to do this with Finn. (She’s wanted it since the first day they kissed; it’s only grown stronger since then). “And I’m ready. If you are.”

“I’m ready, too. I mean—I love you, Rey, and I want to show you how much.”

Rey had squeezed his hand. Moved in even closer and wrapped her other hand around the back of his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

 

Now, they’re standing in their current motel room with the lights down low and lips moving in sync with one another. Finn’s hands are sitting on her waist, Rey’s arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to her. They’re kissing almost tentatively, but maybe it’s more just wanting to be gentle; because although Rey is nervous (and Finn is, too), this feels right, and they trust each other, so they’re not _scared_. But Rey just wants to kiss him gently and softly for a minute because it feels so right and tender and she loves him so much that she’s not really sure how to express it right now.

Especially when Finn’s hands slide around to her lower back and push her body against his, curving them together like he’s trying to make them one, like he wants her only closer, and Rey almost whimpers against his lips. He’s so warm against her. His hands are spread out against the fabric of her T-shirt, her own hands now wrapped against the back of his neck. And she realises she’d quite like him to take her shirt off. (It’s not the first time she’s thought that).

Rey runs her tongue along his bottom lip and Finn lets her in, happily gliding his against hers, and his mouth is so warm and wet and all Rey wants is _more_.

They stumble over towards the bed after a few minutes, Rey easing him down on to it and smiling as he sits up against the headboard, eyes locked on to hers the whole time. Biting her lip, she moves closer to him and then settles on his lap, knees settled on either side of his hips. Almost like it’s instinct, Finn’s hands move to sit against her thighs and his touch makes Rey’s stomach do a flip.

She grins at him for a little moment before wrapping her hands around the back of his head and moving back in to kiss him, her mouth already wide open for him. He reciprocates gladly, hands running up and down the tops of her thighs in slow, absentminded motions. The kiss starts slow but soon heats up, especially when Rey shuffles further down his lap towards him and Finn moans an approval, bringing his arms up to completely wrap around her waist, pulling her in as close as she can get.

Her torso is pressed flush against his now, and she can feel his toned stomach and his chest and the way it rises and falls as he breathes against her. Bringing her hands down from his head, she runs them over his neck, his shoulders, his chest. He feels warm and beautiful but, really, his T-shirt is just getting in the way now. Continuing in their path, Rey’s palms run slowly over his stomach and then find the hem of his shirt. She pushes it up just a little but doesn’t take it off; instead, she moves her hands under the fabric and slides them slowly back up his stomach and chest, feeling his hot, soft skin under her fingertips and her palms; reveling in the way his breath catches in his throat. She just wants to _touch_ him. Always has wanted to touch him. And now that she’s getting the chance, she doesn’t even know where to start; where to go next.

She rubs her hands over his ribs and down to his waist. Her lips break away from his and start kissing all down his jaw and his neck, open against his skin. He tightens his grip on her before tipping his head back against the headboard, allowing her better access to his neck. His fingers spread out and leave the small of her back in favour of moving down to palm her ass, and Rey gasps, sucking harder on his neck in approval.

His palms are so warm and big and beautiful. She’s been so fixated on how much she wants to touch _him_ without thinking about how much she’d quite like _him_ to touch _her._

“Mm,” Rey half-murmurs, half-moans, still sucking little kisses to the soft skin under his jaw and his chin.

“Rey…,” he whispers, sucking in a breath when her lips make contact with his earlobe.

“You’re so beautiful, Finn,” she whispers, breath hot against his ear. “You’re so beautiful, and I love you so much.”

It’s Finn’s turn to moan, and he squeezes her ass again, like he’s trying to push her further in to him even though they’re already so close.

“I love you,” he whispers in her ear, bringing his lips down to kiss the side of her head.

When Rey pulls her face away from his neck, she grins brightly at him. Then leans in to kiss him again, but Finn has other ideas; instead, he moves his lips down to _her_ neck now, returning the favour, and Rey lets out a moan that sounds almost like a moan of relief.

“Mm, Finn,” she closes her eyes, letting herself get lost in the way his mouth is moving over her skin, leaving wet trails in its wake. “That’s so nice.”

He smiles and she feels it. Then he finds a spot that makes Rey gasp and focuses on it – right where her shoulder meets her neck – and sucks just a little. Rey feels his teeth just lightly against her skin and, yeah, he’s left a few hickeys on her before but no matter how many she's had, they _never get old_. And this time his hands are on her ass and she’s still got her hands roaming over his chest under the fabric of his shirt, and everything just feels ten times hotter than it ever has before.

“Finn,” she says again when he nips at her ear. Then his hands are lightly tugging at her T-shirt and he pulls away to look her in the eyes.

“Can I?”

“ _Please_ ,” Rey doesn’t mean to sound like she’s begging him, but she sort of is, because she _really_ needs him to touch her right now.

He works carefully with her shirt, holding the neck wide open so it doesn’t catch on her chin, and then he throws it across the room and Rey grins at him. She’s still got her bra on and yeah, she could take it off now, but first it’s Finn’s turn.

Her fingers tease at the hem of his T-shirt and she raises her eyebrows. “Yours, too?”

“It only seems fair.” He grins widely when Rey eagerly reaches down to pull it up over his head, throwing it across towards her own; and then she’s staring at him with wide, hungry eyes and her teeth sunk in to her bottom lip. She’s seen him without a shirt on a lot of times. But this time she has new plans.

Slowly, Rey moves down and kisses at his bare collar bone, lips closed at first, leaving little pecks and long trails over his clavicle and his shoulders and his chest. Her mouth opens soon enough, though, and then she’s kissing his stomach and his waist and his ribs. She mouths at his nipples and he moans, taking hold of her waist in his hands again and bringing her in closer. They kiss once more, clumsy and breathy and filled with tongues and gasps. His hands slowly move up her spine, leaving goosebumps in their trail, and then he fingers at the hooks of her bra and Rey nods without him needing to ask.

He unhooks it and pulls back, looking her in the eyes for a moment to make sure she’s okay. She grins at him and bites her bottom lip once more, and Rey feels him underneath her then, hard and getting harder.

He lets his eyes fall down to her chest, and his mouth hangs open a little, eyes sparkling with a look Rey has never seen before. It’s incredibly new, but also incredibly sexy.

“You…,” he starts, breathless, “you are so beautiful.” His eyes meet hers again and there’s so much gentleness, so much love there that it makes Rey reach out and cup his face in her hands.

“So are you.”

He smiles softly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Finn pulls her back in again, pressing their foreheads together. “Can I…can I touch you?” He whispers.

“Yes,” Rey answers without hesitation. “You can touch me however you want.”

He does. _She_ does.

He touches her breasts and presses, and then he’s kissing them, so gently but just hard enough; and Rey moans and gasps until his lips trail back up her throat towards her lips. Her hands work at his belt as they kiss, and he reaches down to help her get his jeans off. It requires nothing short of contortion to do it without Rey moving from his lap, but he does it, and then he’s playing with the edge of Rey’s leggings.

She doesn’t need to be asked twice.

She lifts up her weight from his lap for a moment to pull them down, and it’s all very clumsy and extremely unsexy because she almost falls at one point and ends up dramatically grabbing on to Finn’s shoulders. But it’s okay, because he just laughs with her and leans in to peck her cheekbone as she pulls them off at her ankles.

“I love you,” he chuckles, bumping his nose against hers, still grinning widely.

Rey’s chest fills with warmth because getting her leggings off was the hardest part of this so far and she felt kind of like an idiot, but Finn is her best friend, and they always know how to laugh.

Turns out, Finn’s laughter is one of the sexiest things he’s done since they started and it makes want bubble through Rey’s stomach.

“You’re mine, you know that, right?” Rey says, surprising herself by how determined she sounds.

He smiles at her and runs the backs of his fingers down her cheek. “I’m all yours.”

“Good. And I’m yours, too. _All_ yours.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Rey grins and wrinkles her nose happily. Finn kisses the wrinkles away and then his hands are moving back down to her ass and Rey couldn’t be more grateful. She kisses him properly, hands roaming back down over his stomach, this time in a determined trail down towards his underwear. Teasing at the elastic, Rey breaks away from his lips for a moment but keeps her face right up at his, not opening her eyes.

“Can I?” She asks.

“Yes,” his voice sounds so desperate, so full of desire, and Rey wants to whimper because he’s so close and he’s still touching her and he’s still…well, he’s still hard. And she’s about to see him, all of him, and she could not be more glad.

It takes her a second to pull off his boxers, but she takes the opportunity to kiss his thighs a little as she pulls the fabric over his ankles and tosses it to the floor. When she looks back at him, he’s smiling softly, hands reaching out to her. She moves back in and lets him cup her face, closing her eyes as she presses their foreheads together.

“I just…I just need to grab a condom, give me a second, okay?” He starts to move out from underneath her. Rey whimpers at the lack of warmth from his body, pouting playfully, and he turns to her when he’s standing up. “I’ll just be a minute, love.” Softly, he smiles and leans in to peck her forehead before turning around again and reaching in to his bag.

His back is to her, so Rey takes a moment to admire his beautiful behind and how she swears his has to be the most _perfect_ ass in the entire world. She listens to him opening the packet for a moment, feeling her stomach still tugging with so much need for him, and then decides to take one matter in to her own hands.

She sits up and pulls off the last of her underwear, only thinking that maybe Finn would have liked to do that once she’s already thrown them on to the floor beside his boxers. But when Finn turns back towards her and sees Rey up on her knees atop the mattress, completely naked in front of him, his eyes light up and nearly pop out of his head, and Rey knows she made the right decision.

She takes in the look in his eyes as he looks her all over, and grins. “Please keep looking at me like that. It’s really quite wonderful.”

He looks back in to her eyes. “Sorry, I don’t mean to stare…,”

“No, I wasn’t being sarcastic,” her hand reaches out for him and he walks towards her, not breaking their eye contact. She cups her hand around the back of his neck. “I mean it. It’s good.”

“It’s just…,” his hands sit against her bare waist, and she swears she feels them trembling just a little. “You’re so…so beautiful. I…I love you so much. You’re perfect. You’re _perfect_.”

Rey grins. She pulls him in even closer. “Stop, you’re making me blush,” she teases.

Finn leans in and kisses each of her cheeks, softly and slowly, before nuzzling his nose in to the side of hers. “And it’s the cutest thing I’ve seen all day.”

And then they’re kissing again, and Finn gently helps her down on to the mattress. He pulls away for a moment to lay her against the pillow and brush her hair back from her face, and he gazes right in to her eyes.

“Is it okay like this?” He whispers.

Rey nods. “It’s perfect. Although, I have thought about being on top before now, but there’s time for that.”

His eyes light up and his mouth falls open just a little, faltering, but he speaks after a moment, “I—we can change, if you want! I just want you to be comfortable…,”

“ _No_ ,” Rey holds his face in both her hands. “I’m just fine like this. Actually, it’s kinda useful, ‘cus my hands are free.” She grins cheekily and Finn only smiles for a moment before leaning down and catching her lips with his again. She reciprocates gladly and lets her hands roam down over the expanse of his shoulders and his back. He has a scar there, stretching right down his spine; it’s big and long and kind of scary to think that he almost didn’t make it when he got injured. Rey has seen it before, a lot, and she’s touched it a lot, too. Because she likes to remind him that he doesn’t need to be ashamed of it. That it’s beautiful. That she loves it because it’s a reminder that he survived; and that means she got the pleasure of getting to know him.

Rey’s heart is beating loudly in her chest, and she has to take a moment to steady herself when she feels Finn’s cock brushing against her stomach, and it’s a little wet, and she has a short moment of pure nerves because she has _never done this before_.

Finn pulls away from her lips and frowns. “You okay?”

How did he even know? “Yeah, I just—I’m nervous. A little.”

“We don’t have to carry on, if you don’t want…,”

“No, I want to,” she interrupts, “I just…I’m still a little nervous.”

He reaches out and brushes some hair off her face, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “I’ll look after you, alright?” He whispers against her skin. “You just gotta talk to me. Tell me if we do something you don’t like, and we can stop. I love you, and it’s only me; and you know I just want you to be okay.”

Rey feels her lips twitch up at the corners. She gazes in to his eyes. His beautiful eyes that have had her captivated from the very start.

“You are the best person I have ever known, you know that?” Rey says, her voice almost a whisper.

“You mean besides you?” He smirks.

Chuckling, Rey leans in and presses a soft, closed-mouth kiss to his lips, lingering there for a long moment. “I love you,” she whispers, “thank you for always taking care of me.”

“I love you too, Rey,” he kisses her forehead, then the bridge of her nose, then the corners of her lips. “I promise, you don’t need to be nervous.”

“I can’t believe you’re not nervous. How are you not nervous?”

“Oh, I am,” he grins at her, “but I just want you to be comfortable. So I’m faking it ‘til I make it.”

Rey laughs again but finds herself close to tears because wow, wow, _wow_ , she loves him _so much_.

“I love you,” she whispers, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

And then he pulls completely away to look her right in the eyes, his own eyes soft but serious.

“Are you ready?”

Drawing in a deep breath, Rey nods. “I’m ready,” as he pulls away briefly to take himself in his hand, Rey suddenly says, “Wait!” And he freezes, still looking in to her eyes. She takes a hold of his shoulders with her hands and takes another deep breath. “I—It’s okay, keep going, I just…go slowly?”

“Of course. Talk to me, okay? Tell me if something’s too much.”

Rey nods. She’s still looking him in the eyes, because she’s scared that if he looks away, she’s going to lose herself in this situation, and Finn is – and always has been – the thing that grounds her. That keeps her from zoning out.

There’s a short moment of silence while Finn gets ready, and then after another few longer moments, he’s inside her.

 _Oh_.

This is new. This is different. It’s very different. Rey can’t decide if it’s an uncomfortable different or a welcome different, but she tightens her grip on Finn’s shoulders and closes her eyes, sucking in a sharp breath, trying to centre herself before they move further.

“Okay?” Finn asks.

Rey nods quickly, “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“I’m not hurting you?”

“No, I—I mean, a little bit, but it’s okay,” her words are breathless and strained, and when she opens her eyes for a second, Finn is frowning down at her.

“Are you sure?” His words are a little strained too, as if he’s trying to contain himself.

“Mhmm.”

“Okay. Just—tell me when you want me to move.”

Nodding, Rey lets herself breathe for a moment, getting used to the feel of him, and then she uses her hands to pull him down in to a kiss. It almost resets everything; reminds her of the incredible _want_ that has been inside her for so long now—to do this with Finn.

“Okay. I’m ready.”

“For me to move?” He whispers against her lips.

“Yeah.”

And he does. Slow at first, and Rey remains still. But after a couple minutes, she begins to tentatively move her hips with his, and Finn is kissing all over her face in soft little pecks. And everything is suddenly _perfect_.

She takes his hand in hers and guides his fingers down to the place just above where they’re joined, and he takes the hint without her having to tell him what she means.

It’s heaven. It’s heaven, it’s heaven, it’s heaven. They’re so close to each other. Touching everywhere possible. Finn buries his head in to Rey’s neck and presses his lips to her skin every now and again; in little half-hearted kisses, because he’s so lost in ecstasy that his lips are sloppy and almost weak against her skin. But it’s perfect. And he’s whispering sweet words in to her ear; saying her name and telling her he loves her.

Rey’s arms are wrapped around his neck for the most part, occasionally moving her hands up over his soft hair. Then she moves them down his back, her fingertips brushing his spine, and her palms settle against his ass.

This is just as beautiful and sensual and incredible as Rey had always imagined. It’s different, too, in a strange way, but it’s a good different. Finn is so close to her, his body completely pressing against hers every time they thrust their hips together. He’s so warm. Hot, really. And sweat is beading on her forehead, and he’s breathing heavily, pressing his forehead in to her neck.

Their hips move together beautifully and in perfect sync, and his finger is rubbing her clit in circles that match their thrusts. Rey kisses the curve of Finn’s ear, her mouth open against it as she gasps and clenches her hands against him.

Rey climaxes first, but Finn follows closely behind; she gasps in to his ear – _panting_ , really – and her hands try to find purchase against his back, attempting to grip there but failing. Finn says her name over and over again as he comes, and when he begins to come down from his high, he can’t stop whispering ‘I love you, I love you’ as he presses kisses to her neck and her collar bone.

Rey holds him tight, eyes closed against the side of his head. “I love you, Finn,” she whispers.

“I love you, too. You’re everything to me.” He kisses all up her neck and her jaw, because he can’t get enough, and they’re still joined together and Rey never wants this to end.

“You’re…you’re…,” she tries to come up with words to describe what Finn is. What he is to _her_. But it’s impossible. There will never be enough words. So instead, she just settles for, “you’re magic, Finn.”

He chuckles against her skin and moves up to kiss her lips, just once and just softly.

“Was that…you know…okay? You were comfortable?”

Rey can’t help but giggle fondly, bringing her hands up to cup his face and pressing their foreheads together. “Finn, given how hard I just came, I’d say that it was more than okay.”

Finn chuckles breathily against her lips. “I love you.”

Rey can’t count how many times he’s said that to her today. “I love you too.”

He leans in to kiss her, slowly and passionately, and as he does so he takes the opportunity to pull out of her. She sighs at the lack of him inside but he’s still pressing his lips to hers over and over again, and it’s okay. And then, she’s sighing because this is so perfect. _He_ is so perfect.

“We should…we should clean up.”

Rey whimpers playfully. “No, stay.”

“I’m serious,” he chuckles.

“I’m tired.”

“I know. We can clean up a little and then sleep, okay?”

Sighing, Rey pouts, but nods anyway. “Okay.”

Just minutes later, they fall asleep with Finn wrapped around her from behind, their legs tangled together, his arms around her waist, face pressed in to the back of her head. Rey holds his hand and brings it up to her mouth to kiss it once, and then they drift of in to a peaceful sleep, warm and comfortable and safe. Together, just like they always will be.

* * *

 

**Epilogue**

 

Four months later, Finn and Rey are in Scotland. Right up near the very top, somewhere called Inverness, where the First Order can’t find them and wouldn’t even _bother_ trying to find them that far up country.

Finn and Rey live in a youth hostel, but they’re looking for an apartment to rent, because they think that this might be the place they can stay. It’s cold – cold _er_ than where they both were before – but they’ve been slowly making their way up North all this time, so they’re used to it now. The people are friendly and the food is delicious. It’s a pretty city; small and town-like, so much so that it almost doesn’t feel like a city.

Not that any of this matters. Because the truth is, as long as they’re together, anywhere could feel like home.

They work at a little place that is part bookstore, part flower shop and part coffee shop. It’s a quirky business on the corner of a street in the city, filled with life and character. And it’s really perfect for them; they both adore nature and plants; they both love books and finding new ones to read to each other as they fall asleep; and, most of all, working around coffee just reminds them of how they first met.

The place itself is just really great, and their coworkers are wonderful. Rey and Finn often hang out after work with Poe, Jess and Snap and some of their friends. It’s the first time in both of their lives that they’ve had _friends_. They laugh and talk and have fun together. Poe knows their story, mostly, and he has proven to be quite the close friend.

Of course, nothing will either compare to each other. No relationship will come close to the intimacy they have with each other.

One Friday evening once the shop has closed, the five of them all sit around a table and play cards, each with a drink and sharing a couple bowls of snacks. They laugh and talk and rub it in each other’s faces when either team wins until it gets late. Finn and Rey hold hands the whole time. And Rey will always lean in to kiss his cheek whenever they get a minute. Because apparently it’s truly impossible to keep herself to herself.

“Are you guys working over the weekend?” Poe asks, a half hour after they finished their last game. Jess and Snap went home a few minutes ago, and now it’s just the three of them, and there’s a warmth inside Rey’s stomach. She can’t help but smile to herself. This is the happiest she’s ever been.

Finn’s finger smoothes over Rey’s hand absentmindedly. “No. We have a couple days off.”

“Okay,” Poe smiles. “I guess I’ll see you on Monday. Have a good weekend, kids.”

“You gotta stop calling us that,” Rey chuckles, “we’re not _kids_.”

“No, but you make me feel old.”

“Only because of that one grey hair.”

“We don’t talk about the grey hair.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of!” Rey exclaims, a grin tugging at her lips.

“Just wait until you get one.”

“Well, I guess I won’t have to worry for a long time, if I’m such a _kid_.” She teases. Finn chuckles, but Poe gives her a dirty but playful look.

“Oh, shush, you,” he warns. “Oh, and while we’re being honest, you two really gotta hold back on the PDA.”

“All we’re doing is holding hands, buddy.”

“Finn, have you not noticed how many times Rey has kissed you in the past three hours?”

“Come on. It was just cheek kisses.” Rey defends herself, still grinning like an idiot.

“Yeah, but whenever you look at each other you’re basically eye-fucking and it’s gross.”

Rey’s cheeks flush red behind her grin and she lets her head fall in to Finn’s shoulder in embarrassment, giggling like a little girl. Finn shakes his head and laughs.

“You’re embarrassing my girlfriend.”

“Go home and keep those dirty eyes to yourself, then.”

“Okay,” Finn chuckles, “we will. See you on Monday, buddy.”

“Bye, Poe!” They turn towards the door and head out, beginning to walk away before they hear Poe shout something else.

“Be safe! Use protection, and all that. Love you. Oh, to be young again.”

He says it like he’s a _grandpa_ , and Finn just laughs.

Rey laughs, too, but it’s mischievous. She holds on to his arm with her spare hand as they walk down the street. “He says that like we don’t _already_ fuck each other safely.”

“I’m not sure whether that’s a hot thing you just said or whether it just sounds like a sex education lesson.”

“Hmm…a bit of both?”

He chuckles again. “I guess so.”

“Don’t you love it when I talk dirty like that?” Rey looks at him, a playful grin on her face, arm wrapped around his waist. They’re still walking down the pavement, the darkness of the night sky being masked by the glow of the city lights. Finn’s face is being lit by the street lamps that pass. He’s always so beautiful.

He looks at her and chuckles. “Oh, totally.”

She giggles in response and looks back out at the path ahead of them. The place they’re staying is only a twenty minute walk from the café, and it’s always nice to have this time to themselves after a long day filled with other people; just strolling together and talking and catching up.

Rey hugs him in tighter to her and rests her head on his shoulder, humming contentedly. She feels him hold her tighter in return. “I love you.” She says softly.

Finn kisses the top of her head. “I love you too, Rey.”

“Always?” It’s a rhetorical question. (Now and again she just likes him to get cheesy with her).

He smiles. “Always, Rey. Always and forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, don't we all love a cheesy line to end an equally cheesy fic.  
> Ahhh...I'm not sure I want this to end!  
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much for reading this fic; I hope you enjoyed the whole thing! Please do leave kudos if you did, and a comment if you can; they are always much appreciated! Thank you so much again for reading! <3 
> 
> Love :* xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Rey is so sad. Finn is so sad. They're both so lonely. I'm sORRY FOR THE PAIN. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> This fic is gonna be from Rey's POV, at least that's what I have planned at the moment, but I'm considering doing a sort of spin-off that focuses on Finn's POV a little more, because there's so much to delve in to there. I just felt that switching POVs can get a bit hectic so I decided on Rey's POV initially. We'll see how it goes! :')  
> I'm also thinking of writing smut in the later chapters which is why the rating is what it is. But that may change, I'm not 100% sure! I know the usual thing to do is start it with a lower rating then change it later but alas. And I'm pretty sure it's gonna end up being M anyway, so :') But don't hold me to this ;)  
> I know this chapter is kind of lame, but it's really just the prologue, so bear with me!  
> I hope you enjoyed! Do leave kudos if you did, and comments are always very much appreciated :)
> 
> Title of this chapter is from "Traffic Light" by Daughtry. Aka the anthem for this entire fic.
> 
> Love :* xxx


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